. . . Tupperware Cities . . .

Thursday, November 30

 

Yes, I am most likely moving to Kansas City, Missouri by next summer. It is true.

I would also highly recommend that no woman in her right mind take birth control pills. They made me insane for four months, fucking insane. I feel much, much, much better now.

Enjoying life, once again.

Lynnette 9:35 PM

Tuesday, November 28

 

There ain't nothin' like a nervous breakdown over the Thanksgiving holiday in the comfort of your boyfriend and family. Nothin' like it.

Got a UTI and had to go to an emergency clinic, got rear-ended in a rental car in the busiest intersection in Omaha (thank god Matty was there to keep me calm), and burned my neck on hot pizza sauce, and spent nearly $600 bucks just to visit my family for a week. I lost it, I cried nearly every day, but fortunately I had someone to hold me. It fucking sucked.

I cried through my Thanksgiving meal, finding it hard to swallow. I fixed this by getting drunk with my stepbrother Ryan and smoking a pack of cigarettes with him, followed by a raucous game of air hockey in the basement.

Fuck fuck fuck. I also threw away my birth control pills. They were making me crazy, fucking crazy. Just a few days later I already feel like my old self, in new form.

Only I have the power to change my life.

Lynnette 9:57 AM

Friday, November 24

 

Worst...Vacation...Ever!

Lynnette 12:28 PM

Friday, November 17

 

Tomorrow morning (I should be in BED right now) I am leaving for Omaha to visit family, spend time with Matty, and eat bird meat. I'm also looking forward to a quick visit to Lincoln to have coffee with a dear friend of mine.

Hopefully this will be just as wonderful and relaxing as my last visit. Wish me well. Have a nifty holiday folks.

Lynnette 9:05 PM

Tuesday, November 14

 

Good morning (or afternoon or evening, depending on when you read this email),
It's me again.

I have disappeared for awhile, but sometimes people do that. They have to close up on themselves, retreat from the world, figure out what the heck their next move will be. Actually when I say move I mean that literally. Kitty said she talked to you on the phone recently and mentioned I might be moving....again.

In the last year so many things have happened. I left Steve, that guy I brought to lunch during our visit, started school, started volunteering at a local non-profit rescue/research aquarium, and subsequently dropped my courses and quit the aquarium. None of it is bringing me pleasure; none of it is making me happy.

A big part of this is location. Before I moved to Florida I came up with a list of pros and cons for Washington vs. Florida. I figured "hey, schools are cheap in Florida, housing is cheap in Florida, let's go to Florida!" When I should have been considering the most important factors: where will I feel at home, where will I feel happiest, what weather will I enjoy, will I be near family or people I know? Oddly enough the answer to all of those questions, in relation to Florida, is a resounding NO!

I have wanted to return to Washington for as long as I can remember. I have no idea why I keep putting it off saying, "Oh, I'm going to end up there someday." Well, I'm done haggling with the rest of the world. A place where the cockroaches grow as large as house mice (no joke) and the hurricanes have driven home insurance costs into thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars. I work in home insurance right now, hurricane insurance to be exact, but did you know an average home in Florida could cost upwards of $10,000 just to _insure_?! WOW!

So, enough rambling and mumbling from my apparent lack of caffeine. I just wanted to write you a quick note to say that I may be coming home, finally, and at last.

Love, Nettie

Lynnette 8:33 AM

Thursday, November 9

 

Thank you to the Dapper Paul T. K. who has been my friend these past ten and more years. Yes, Paul, ten fucking years. And how many times have we met? But once. Weird huh?

Anyway, thanks. You'll have a gift in the mail, soon.

Lynnette 7:54 PM

Wednesday, November 8

 

I need to hear someone say to me, "Psst, you're not a failure."

Lynnette 7:00 PM

 

So I left work three hours early last night (I had time off coming to me...some bullshit reward they give out for good performance now and then), went to vote, and then went to see The Prestige. Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, magic, etc. It was actually really fucking good, save for the old people we had to tell to shut the fuck up in the middle of the movie.

Haven’t slept well in ages, having shark/stress dreams again. Wondering why I am still in Florida since my plans have now completely changed:

1) I am alone in Florida. Yes I have a boyfriend but he lives in Kansas City; his current locale has no bearing on whether or not I remain in Florida.
2) Since I am here alone I can no longer afford to purchase a home here. Well, for clarification, I could afford to buy a home, but to insure it would be near impossible.
3) My schooling, now that I have refocused and have learned more about what type of background I need for what I want to do…well, I can do that shit anywhere in the world.

Bottom line, why should I stay in a state where there are massive cockroaches, endless humidity and white trash, if I don’t need to? I don’t know. I really just don’t know anymore.

Why am I putting off moving to where I want to live, other than finances, of course…Hmm. I need to think.

Lynnette 8:08 AM

Tuesday, November 7

 

And so…

The resume goes online tonight, no more delays. I had my yearly performance meeting with my manager today and decided that well…I can’t put up with this shit anymore. He asked me very specific questions, and I decided it was time to be honest. I told him I was unhappy at the company, and didn’t feel as if there was really anywhere for me to grow within the company. I felt as if I was facing the glass ceiling and there was nothing I could do about it.

He came back with, What can I do to help you? What can I do?

I told him blandly, nothing, there is nothing you can do.

So, it’s understood, I believe, that if my resume is found online that it won’t be too big of a surprise.

Life is too fucking short to do things day-in-day-out that make you unhappy. This job is depressing me, and I cry all the time. I hate coming to work, I dread coming to work, yet, every day I drag myself here at 830, go to lunch at 1 and leave at 5. Monday through Friday, to face the drudgery, the drudgery of boredom.

Fuck this shit I’m gonna start running again.

Lynnette 12:00 PM

Monday, November 6

 

Brighter days ahead, definitely. Hopefully, the resume online will draw some attention, and I'll be able to leave the shithole I currently call "my job".

I'm also gathering things up for a huge yard sale, and plan on getting rid of most, if not all of my books. I'm tired of hauling them around, and most of them I have read entirely, or partially, and will never pick up again...It's for the best. Less shit, less clutter, less anxiety about "stuff".

Also at the top of the charts...I am going to spend Thanksgiving with Matty. Definitely turkey day, and possible the entire week if I have my say in it.

Lynnette 10:04 AM

Friday, November 3

 

Happy Birthday, Nick!!

My baby brother turns 28 today. Woot!

Lynnette 1:22 PM