. . . Tupperware Cities . . .

Tuesday, October 31

 

Will someone please tell me why in the world I have nine (9) pillows on my bed?!?

Hmm. Oh, Happy Halloween.

Lynnette 8:41 PM

 

The shit hit the fan...

As unfortunate as it is, for all parties involved, I am in the process of replacing my current roommate. After only one week, I’ve realized that we are Felix Unger and Oscar Madison. Yes, I’m Felix Unger. Shannon is a sweet girl, but it doesn’t seem like she’s going to mesh well with me in a shared living area. She and her boyfriend are now looking for a new place for her.

In all honesty, I don’t think it’s too much to ask to not have doors slammed repeatedly in the middle of the night (1am, 3am, 5am…?), among other things. A successful roommate relationship depends entirely upon mutual respect and understanding of common areas, private areas, and sleepy time. Sadly, I am not currently experiencing any of these.

It’s frustrating, but sometimes things explode and then need fixing. You just don’t know what will happen until you are in the middle of it. These are things in life you cannot predict or prepare for.

As unfortunate as this situation is, there is a bright side. My friend Theresa’s lease is up at the end of November and has given notice and is preparing to transition to St. Petersburg as soon a the space is available.

Lynnette 9:20 AM

Sunday, October 29

 

Today I wanted to quit. Quit it all, quit my job, quit Florida, just quit life and give up. Dear fucking christ.

But I decided rather than sit in my room and sob loudly I was gonna call someone and talk it out. Fortunately, my Aunt Kelly answered the phone when I tried to call my mom, and she talked me down for awhile. I didn't agree with all of her advice, but I took it all with a grain of salt. Then I got talk to my mom... I miss her so much. I miss my family, terribly.

Then, I called Matty. It's always wonderful to hear his voice. I just wish there was something I could do to make his waiting time shortened, as well as mine. It's rough, but we are both well worth the wait...

Lynnette 6:35 PM

Friday, October 27

 

Frustration

If I had a shiny gun,
I could have a world of fun
Speeding bullets through the brains
Of the folk who give me pains;

Or had I some poison gas,
I could make the moments pass
Bumping off a number of
People whom I do not love.

But I have no lethal weapon-
Thus does Fate our pleasure step on!
So they still are quick and well
Who should be, by rights, in hell.

-- Dorothy Parker

Lynnette 8:58 AM

 

So here we are. I think that's a Dorothy Parker short story...in fact I know it is.

Tomorrow I am planning a long drive around town with my friend Theresa, and a stop at our favorite greasy spoon, the Egg Platter (pronounced: the Egg Plattaaaaaaaaah!!). It will be nice to be out of my house, in the sun, and relaxed. I also gain another hour this weekend, which I will be banking into sleep time, other people wake up early and start crafting projects or work out; I will be sleeping soundly.

Nothing new to report. Awaiting word on my transcripts for the new school, and possibly a distance learning through University of Florida in Gainesville. We shall see, we shall see.

Where have all my friends gone?

Lynnette 8:47 AM

Wednesday, October 25

 

Honeymoon's over. My roommate borrowed some of my Sims games to install on her computer, and I found the boxes in the hallway today, no cds, no nothing inside. I asked her if she was done with them, and she said she wasn't. Then she left for a job interview with her boyfriend.

I went to put the boxes back in her room, by her computer and lo and behold found all of my Sims discs stacked on top of one another (FUCK NO!) and one of them stuck to the floor with a half eaten Russell-Stover chocolate piece. Shannon you're a sweet gal, but my goodness you are a slob.

Lynnette 5:03 PM

Tuesday, October 24

 

My loving boyfriend is not missing, he's just inconsiderate. Matty you're a butthead, I love you.

Last night my roomie made a real meal: roast chicken with homemade gravy, corn muffins, and green beans. Between the food and knowing that Matty is alive I slept really well last night.

Money situation is looking like I won't be going home for Thanksgiving as I had hoped. Too bad, I miss Kitty a bunch.

Lynnette 10:16 AM

Monday, October 23

 

Showed up at work this morning and thought I had forgotten about daylight saving time, only because the sky was still dim. Nope, next week. So at 2am this morning my new roommate woke me up when she was banging around in the kitchen. At first I thought to myself, “let it slide, it’s her first night here, she’s just arranging things…”, but it kept going. I stuck my head out my bedroom door and said “What are you doin in there?!” She was apparently eating chocolate cake at 2am, I know this because when I woke up I found that she left her plate with a half eaten slice on the counter. No no, there will be no food left out at my house. I’ll have to beat her when I get home.

Who eats chocolate cake at 2am? I swear if she starts reading Cathy comics I’m going to Baker Act her ass.

Lynnette 7:49 AM

 

I have a roommate now. I also still have a missing boyfriend.

Lynnette 6:02 AM

Sunday, October 22

 

So, I'm in a relationship with a man who has apparently dropped off the face of the earth and I have been waiting almost four hours for my soon-to-be roommate to show the fuck up.

My time is just as precious as everyone else's...I've been waiting very patiently, for both parties.

Why can't I just get a break? Just one...that's all I want.

Lynnette 1:28 PM

Friday, October 20

 

At least haikus are free...

Five cents in the bank.
Seriously only five.
No money for food.

Lynnette 7:49 AM

Thursday, October 19

 

Good stuff. An opinion piece from The Korea Times:

Kim Jong-il Is Crazy, Isn’t He?

by Michael Breen

The most common assumption overseas about the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-il, is that he is either crazy or evil.

But is he?

It is certainly tempting to imagine him pacing his bunker like a lunatic. What impression better fits the leader of a country, which roars at the world?

It is also tempting to imagine him as demonic. His brother drowned when they were playing together. No one knows exactly what happened. When he was seven, his mother died. These events must have unhinged him. Could there be a connection between this emotional history, the weirdness of the personality cult, and the appalling treatment of the citizenry?

Kim himself is not unfamiliar with this question.

When told by an overseas visitor he’d become a media star in South Korea after the June 2000 summit with Kim Dae-jung, he replied, “After I appeared on TV screens, I’m sure, they came to know that I am not like a man with horns on the head.”

Later in the same year, in another historic meeting, with then-US Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, he referred to himself as the last of the “communist devils.”

Does this self-deprecating humor belie the nutcase theory?

Not necessarily.

In his first dinner with the South Korean actress Choi Eun-hee, who had been kidnapped on his orders from Hong Kong, he came out with a good one.

“Madame Choi, how do I look?” he asked, eyeing himself mockingly from one side and then the other. “Don’t you think that I look like a midget’s turd?”

Even she laughed.

But are we?

According to American scholar Jerrold M. Post, who has conducted political psychology profiles for the CIA, there’s nothing funny about the Dear Leader. He has written that Kim has the “core characteristics of the most dangerous personality disorder, malignant narcissism.”

Post cites Kim’s insensitivity to the people’s suffering, lavish lifestyle, humiliation of subordinates, security paranoia, and willingness to use aggression to eliminate enemies. The pampered upbringing, Post says, created a warped figure with an extreme degree of self-absorption, a grandiose view of himself, and an inability to empathize with others and understand the United States, South Korea and Japan.

I’m not convinced that such analysis from across a gulf of culture makes much sense. But when misunderstanding the United States counts against you on the mental health test, you may assume the testers are themselves likely to be fruitcakes.

The danger with the crazy and evil lines of reasoning is that they lead to an assumption of danger – if Kim is a wacko, he could press the button. They also contribute to the dehumanizing of a leader and his people, which makes it more difficult to negotiate with them but much easier to bomb them to smithereens.

Is that where we are headed with North Korea?

If not just to avoid this, can we not recognize that Kim Jong-il has played a very weak hand with a measure of brilliance and even courage, and ask, Why?

The answer to that question lies in the North Korean perception of its precarious situation vis-a-vis the world and the significance of nuclear weapons in its defense against perceived threat.

What fear, we should be asking, is so great that Kim Jong-il would take on the world to address it?

The answer has been apparent for a long time. It is that, with the global acceptance of South Korea as the real Korea, North Korea is finished. Its reinvention will be dangerous. Freedom may bring internal revolt. The collapse of communism leaves it exposed to attack from South Korea and the United States. This external fear is either genuine or being manipulated to keep the status quo.

By good fortune, no country actually wants to destroy North Korea. So, the problem is containable if the allies adopt a unified policy of realistic engagement.

Treating the North Korean leader as a nutjob simply provides justification for not bothering.

Lynnette 3:44 PM

Wednesday, October 18

 

Haiku for a broke as bitch:

An overdraft fee,
and more are surely to come.
Look a mushroom cloud!

Lynnette 5:51 PM

 

I would like to take this opportunity to say....Holy FUCK my dad turns SIXTY today!

Happy Birthday, Harlan.

Lynnette 6:32 AM

Tuesday, October 17

 

Meh. blogs.

Last night I dreamt that I was working part time at a mattress retailer, and my first sale on my first day was a $1100 King-sized mattress which was sold to a blonde midget named, Lynn.

I also dreamt that Matty and I were walking around some place cold, both wearing charcoal-colored woolen coats. Hmm.

I can't believe I got the second highest score on that test... goddammit. Well, I'm going to attempt to make a skirt...wish me luck.

Lynnette 5:51 PM

Monday, October 16

 

I finally heard back from my professor regarding the dropped class:

Lynnette,

Sorry to hear you had to drop, but I understand you have to make sure to take the appropriate courses to get you where you're going.

I just finished grading the 1st exam and thought you might like to hear your scores. You missed 3 points on the multiple choice/short answer/matching, and I gave you full scores for your essays (thanks for the chuckle about the tree/plant). This gave you a total score of 107 points out of a possible 105 (102%), which was the second highest in the class (In case you're wondering how you scored over 100%, I realize the math is a little wonky - I always throw in a few extra points to make up for bad/poorly worded questions). Nice job!

Good luck with your studies,
-Dr. K


Did you see that?? Second highest in the class! Fuck!

Lynnette 6:34 PM

Friday, October 13

 

Happy Friday the 13th everyone...

Here's what I did today:
Status Action
Drop - No Tuition Reimbursed on Oct 13, 2006

Long story. I'm not happy right now.

Lynnette 5:02 PM

Wednesday, October 4

 

It's official...

Shannon will be here on October 28th (give or take a day), and I'll have someone to pass out candy with on Halloween, and someone to help pay rent next month! Fuck yeah, yay for me! Now if Matty could just get his ass down here, everything would be nifty.

Lynnette 11:27 AM

Tuesday, October 3

 

They say that the most stressful things in life are losing a spouse, moving, and changing jobs. (I think in that order, actually).

Well third down on that list may happen this month. Wednesday, after my test (which I should be studying for at this moment) I'm rewriting my resume, and getting it ready to go off into the world and fly and be free.

After spending the afternoon of my friend Theresa's birthday moping (where she couldn't see me, of course, so as not to ruin her day), and then after class spending a half an hour sobbing on the phone to my friend Shannon (for reasons that are not important here), I've decided that if I can cut out that job from my life, I'll save myself some anguish. I fucking hate it there, I'm miserable there. Never in my life have I been so ruined by a job before.

Couple all of this shit with the fact that this afternoon I realized I'm taking the WRONG FUCKING CLASS. Long, boring ass story. Basically, it's not going to be worth anything when I apply to the graduate program for marine studies. Fucking gay as fuck all. So next semster I'm downshifting into another school, a local college if you will, and taking online classes for all that basic shit I need: one year of physics, one year of biology, one year of chemistry, one year of calculus (fuck!), and then I apply to grad school. Holy fuck. fuck fuck fuck. Fuck. At least I only wasted one semester, 6 hours a week of my time, and $400 of my hard earned cash.

So to make myself feel better about everything I bought a pair of John Fluevog shoes. Fluevogs make the world go 'round.

Lynnette 8:22 PM

 

Happy birthday to my friend Theresa, who turns a whopping 37 today. WOOT! Old lady, damn!

Lynnette 7:51 AM

Monday, October 2

 

I just ate a microwave "pizza" and a handful of hot tamales candies for dinner. Dear fuck... whY?

...time to study.

Lynnette 7:11 PM

 

Gee, who would have thought that lifting a huge fucking sea turtle would have put a strain on my little, whimpy biceps. Goddamn I hurt today!!

Lynnette 1:40 PM

 

Miss Lynnette and her Sunday Adventures

Sunday morning I dragged my ass to the aquarium. The night before I had wasted several hours going through the Howl-O-Scream, haunted house thing at Busch Gardens. Too long of lines on opening weekend and too many asshole, line-cutting drunks made the evening pretty much a waste of thirty bucks. So on very little sleep I had to psych myself up to do the mangrove ecosystem presentation at 11:30 that morning. Ugh.

Everything went as planned, turtles were fed, new volunteers were met, we loitered and watch some of the sick animals being force-fed…typical Sunday morning at the aquarium. Then, fuck, I had to do my presentation. Fortunately, all the the other volunteers were caught up doing other projects so there wouldn’t be anywhere there to watch me. I walked down and found three people: a blonde lady, her massive Japanese husband and little 6 year old boy named Nick who somehow was a perfect amalgam of the two. As soon as the mom saw me she blurted out, “HI! Are you doing the presentation today? What’s your name?” They kept calling me ‘Miss Lynnette’. “Nick, go stand by Miss Lynnette so we can take a picture of you two.” “Nick, what was your question for Miss Lynnette?” My presentation sort of started and stopped and jumped around when Nick had questions, but the three of them were really interested and excited to be there…made me feel a lot better about sounding like a dumbass.

Later on, me and Kim, a new volunteer, ended up helping to medicate some turtles. I hadn’t touched any before that, other than maybe their head while I was feeding them, so to actually be there to help lift them out of their tanks and hold them down was fucking awesome. I always figured their flippers were hard, like a dolphins, or tough. They’re actually very soft like skin, and you can almost see the toes moving around inside the flipper. Very fucking weird. They amazing animals…I’m lucky as hell to be doing what I’m doing.

Lynnette 10:14 AM