. . . Tupperware Cities . . .

Wednesday, March 30

 

I am in Iceland

Nope, not a dream. I'm in Reykjavik right now. My friend Amy and I broke down and went to an internet cafe (luckily it's free with our tourist cards). Johnny Cochran is dead, the Pope is on a feeding tube...I guess the world does continue to turn when I travel.

People watching has made me realize that about 89% of Icelanders wear some type of Diesel or Diesel brand-looking shoes with cropped, cuffed jeans. They also love wearing skirts and dresses over jeans.

Had some hotdogs today and went to the Reykjavik Art Museum and saw an Art Spiegelman(sp?) show on some of his first sketches from the MAUS graphic novel. Fantastic.

Tomorrow we go on a day trip to see Geysir (from which all other 'geysers' have been named) and horseback riding in the Icelandic countryside. Friday is our stopover at the Blue Lagoon geothermal spa before heading home on a loooooooooooooooooong 6 hour plane ride. Damn, why do I have to leave this place, ever? Well, for one, Steve is at home and I miss him dearly. The worst part of this vacation has been the sleeping alone.

I hope everyone misses me, I miss them.

Lynnette 11:14 AM

Monday, March 21

 

Nettie: the human science experiment

Today I was stranded at my office for lunch. I didn't have the time, nor the food, to make a proper lunch so I figured I would survive off the vending machines. I actually found a sandwich with turkey in it, but the ingredients list was so long it took a few minutes to read through it and actually FIND what meat was included. Well, needless to say it was disgusting, but the pinnacle of grossness was reached when I read the disclaimer on the label of my nasty white bread sandwich which read: ALLERGY INFO: PRODUCED ON EQUIP THAT PROCESS EGGS, SOY, WHEAT, NUTS, SEAFOOD AND MILK PRODUCTS.

Okay seafood and milk products? Isn't that a bit weird? I would say so, especially considering no eggs, soy, wheat, nuts, seafood or milk products were on or around my food.

Lynnette 12:12 PM

Thursday, March 17

 

I was having a poopy afternoon so I emailed my boyfriend for a much needed "pick me up".. here's what he emailed me:

i love you.
you are hot.
you are fun.
you have a nice bum bum and teets.

Lynnette 2:35 PM

 

Things that go "bump" in the night...

Last night I worked at the cafe until around 11:30pm, then ran to the store to pick up a few things. Around midnight I made it home, got the Survivor rundown from Steve and began trying to wind down from my work buzz.

After laying there for some time I heard some banging in the hallway. I hopped out of bed and turned off the fan in order to _really_ hear what was going on (thinking: do I bang on the wall/ceiling/floor or just let it go) Since it was creeping up on 1am I thought I should investigate. In the hallway I found the sound was coming from our front door; someone was trying to turn the knob and push through our deadbolt. I watched quietly in the dark as the mystery person continued attempting to get into the door. Looking out the peephole didn't yield any results; they were too far off to the side, so I just said in a calm voice, "you have the wrong apartment". From the other side of the door a very slurred voice said, "Oh, sorry," and immediately the smell of alcohol permeated through the crack in the door.

I figured the person was just poor party go-er having lost their way in the labyrinth of our hallways. However, when I looked through the peephole again I saw my neighbor who lives directly across the hall going into his apartment buck naked. Just for some perspective my neighbor his a 60-something single businessman with white hair who always has a suit on, carrying a briefcase. To catch a glimpse of his wrinkled old white ass was too much. It took me even longer to get to bed that night, trying to stifle my giggles while Steve slept.

Lynnette 8:42 AM

Tuesday, March 15

 

Our vacation

Aaah, Florida. Land of the white trash crackers and Yankee transplants. Home of the lower back tattoos and bellies hanging out over way too small pants. Possible future home of Steve and Lynnette.

Saturday night Steve, his brother, sister-in-law and his 5 year old nephew and I arrived at the Orlando International Airport right on time, around 4pm. Steve's parents, our ride from the airport to the condo, drove down from Kansas City starting a few days earlier. Unfortunately, they didn't time their journey right and got trapped in a combination of Spring Break and Bike Week traffic in and around Atlanta. About 7pm they finally showed up and we were off to the condo. Being lazy around our private pool was about all we accomplished that night.

Sundaymorning Steve and I headed out alone to the Tampa Bay area. We headed straight for the Florida Aquarium (which was a bit of a disappointment, I have to admit), but saw some of downtown Tampa as well. This was the beginning of the day of being drunk on sun. I wasn't used to having that much sun beat down on me, and by the end of the day it kicked my ass, and made me crabby. We left downtown Tampa and took the bridge south to St. Petersburg, past the campus for University of South Florida and straight to the Salvador Dali Museum. It was amazing! Dali is one of my favorite painters, and it was really a treat to see pieces I had studied for years, but had never seen up close in person. The actual texture of some of the paintings really added to the experience. After perusing the gift shop I decided that I didn't need a t-shirt, clock, poster, umbrella or coffee mug to remember that I had been to the museum. I snapped some pics of the bay out back, and we were on our way. The rest of the afternoon we drove up the gulf side and headed to Clearwater, where we had planned on taking in some much needed beach time. We managed to find a nearly empty beach where I captured some video and found some nice shells. The water was much colder than I had expected, but it was so relaxing to sink my toes into sand. Snowbirds or not, I was fucking loving it. Just as we headed north we hit crowds of spring breakers or bike week people, I'm not sure which, and a really bad stretch of road construction (in the form of a bridge out!) We ended up having dinner at this fantastic restaurant (probably a chain down there) that had excellent seafood and fried green tomatoes, of all things. I cannot tell you enough how much I love seafood, but hello! fried green tomatoes are the bomb diggety!!

Monday was pretty much our only "down time" day of the entire vacation. His brother's family was planning an entire week of theme parks, and they were gone from the condo most of the week. While Steve's parents were getting preached to about buying more timeshares Steve and I relaxed by our pool again. Jesus that was amazing. The sun felt good. I can't imagine people living there and hating the sun. Later that afternoon we all headed down to Daytona Beach, just for some people watching and ocean toe-dipping. Well, it was Bike Week central in Daytona. Bikers EVERYWHERE!! The only bad thing about it, was that there were too many mullets and airbrushed t-shirts to take pictures of; I just had to soak it up and enjoy the views.

Tuesday was the beginning of the world's craziest attempt at seeing an entire state in the shortest amount of time possible. We headed east from Orlando to the Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral. After that it was a straight shot down the ocean side, on A1A, yes as in "A1A, beachfront avenue!!" In Cocoa Beach we stopped on the beach, soaking up the sights once again, and jumping around in the waves. Jesus the water was cold, but it still felt wonderful. Much better than the end of a Minnesota winter. Then down through Melbourne, Fort Lauderdale, Palm Beach and Miami. We stopped and ate dinner at a great hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant called Guadalajara, and kept on south until we reached Key Largo at night. It was a pain to find a hotel with any vacancies, and we had to stop in at four hotels before finding a room. But after a long day of driving and sun, that big king-sized bed was heaven.

Wednesday morning we aimed our car for the middle of the keys: Marathon. By the time we reached the Marathon key, we realized it was a hop, skip and a jump to Key West and kept going. I saw some of the most beautiful shades of blue and turquoise in the waters around the Keys. It was just like postcards I had seen, but never really believed existed until I saw it with my own eyes. My pictures do the scenery no justice... We had lunch at Looney's at the far end of Key West. It was a great ma and pa joint right on the water, with a dirty bathroom out back and a parking "lot" of PWC along the pier about 5 feet from out table. Every few minutes someone would vroom up and out of the water and park, walking through the restaurant soaking wet. It wasn't so much of a restaurant as a covered pier that happened to have a bar and tables. Wanting to try some local fare we ordered conch fritters. They came out looking like hush puppies and tasted like chewy seafood yumminess. The mahi was incredible. I managed to get some pictures at the local graveyard (yeah I know a weird hobby), yet our attempts to see Ernest Hemmingway's home were thwarted by road construction. Bikes and scooters were for rent on every block, and Steve and I started playing a game called "find the tourist, find the local". It was pretty easy to pick out the snowbirds from the Floridians. Bright, pale skin was the first sign, the second sign was people walking like they had nowhere to be. At home I always walk with purpose, with intention. On vacation people tend to wander aimlessly. That afternoon we ended up taking the turnpike north and paid nearly 25 dollars in tolls. Ridiculous. It was a last resort; having left Key West at half past 2 in the afternoon, we made pretty good time and made it back home to Orlando just after midnight.

Thursday was meant to be another relaxed day at the pool but ended up being a crazy drive everywhere around Orlando shopping day. After a cherry limeade at Sonic and a disappointing swimsuit shopping experience (save for Steve's underwear that say "I heart to fart" on the buttocks) we headed home to catch Survivor and chill out. What can I say, I love Survivor. We planned on taking it easy that night because the next day was a big walking day....... Oh yes...

Friday we set out super fucking early to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. Starting at Islands of Adventure, my first thrill ride was the ticket price, which Steve thankfully deemed "on him". This was the first time I had ever been on a roller coaster before 9 in the morning. Even before my first caffeine of the day! It was worth it; the Incredible Hulk and Spiderman rides were sweeeeeet. That was followed by a near fainting experience on the Dr. Doom Fear Extractor. It's one of those rides that skyrockets you upwards at a break-neck speed, and then back down again just as quickly. At the top, I asked Steve and his brother if they were seeing little sparkly spots, but no, it was just me. I think my brain shook around in my head too much on the way up. I'm lucky I didn't pass out up there. So, I guess I've found my amusement park Achilles heel. We beat most of the lines until around noon, and even rode with Steve's nephew on some Cat-in-the-Hat kiddie rides. Highlights were the Popeye ride (where we ended up getting completely soaked), Hulk, and Spiderman. After that we headed to Universal Studios to check out the new Mummy-themed roller coaster (fucking great), and Jaws (very outdated and pathetic but still made me jump, and yeah, it was still sweet).

Saturday saw our cold, icky return to the northern state of Minnesota. Jesus I still can't believe I'm back here. It's cold, dry and blah.

Lynnette 1:13 PM

 

Beware the Ides of March

Yes, it's that time of year again. If your name is Julius and you know a guy named Brutus, just watch your back.

Lynnette 6:51 AM

Monday, March 14

 

Return to the cold...

Okay, I'm not in Florida any longer. I'm back in the icy, cold tundra called Minnesota. It's truly a hell among hells to be back at my job. I actually had to work my second job yesterday, so I haven't had a "day off" at home yet. Wah, wah, cry a river, I know.

But, here's what I've decided: It's time to leave. Now the question is to where?

Lynnette 9:29 AM

Friday, March 4

 

I AM HERE.

Lynnette 2:47 PM