. . . Tupperware Cities . . .

Monday, February 28

 

Minnesota. It's an... okay state

Can I just tell you a couple of things that are wrong with Minnesota?? Don't care, you say? Too bad. Read on.

Summer and Spring are combined, and they are about 4 months long...total. Outdoor activities don't' occur until well into May. April is famous for snow storms bringing several feet of snow. It's insanely annoying. Let's also not forget about their childhood games: Duck, Duck, Grey Duck apparently replaces the game that the other 49 states play: Duck, Duck, Goose. Who the f*ck ever played Duck, Duck, Grey Duck?!?! Apparently Minnesotans. This is alternated with another children's game called Captain May I. Us normal folks know this pastime as Mother May I.

They are weird up here. Seriously weird. Another disadvantage to moving to this state is that there are very few transplants. A majority of the people who live here, are FROM here. They have their friends, their cliques, and it's difficult to infiltrate those tightly-knit circles. And they can deny it all they want, but they over pronounced their "O"s, as in MinneSOHtah. It stopped being funny the second month I was here. I laughed, and nobody laughs with me. In all honesty it doesn't seem much different than Lincoln except it's just a HELLuva lot colder in the winter months, and I haven't biked here a single time the entire time I've lived here. I haven't ridden Tony in two freaking years!! This must change.

Here's to hoping T.Rex can keep my mind off my upcoming vacation and focused on work for five more days....... shit.

I shouldn't talk shit about the state so much. It's pretty okay. But yeah, it's okay. I think if I wanted to raise a family and go ice-fishing in the winter I'd be happier than a pig in shit.

Lynnette 10:04 AM

Thursday, February 24

 

Ralph Steadman remembers Hunter S. Thompson. For some reason reading this article really made me sad. I hope he's in a better place. But probably not. He's probably just rotting somewhere as his memory marches onward.

Lynnette 8:57 AM

Tuesday, February 22

 

My head hurts...

Alright. There's no use denying it. I want out. I need out. I need to exit stage right from this play called Minnesota. I have been accepted into UNL's Graduate Studies program. Big school, tiny tuition. However, as luck would have it the fates are not done with this gal. The day I was accepted into the grad program, I thought about going elsewhere; somewhere I could stay and finish my Doctorate. Nebraska is slowly losing favor with the voices in my head, no thanks to Galveston, Florida, North Carolina, Oregon and Washington. Sadly, my head is starting to hurt. Too many choices, too many options. The world is my oyster, but I'd be happy with a pearl-less clam. What to do, what to do.

Decisions, decisions. Visits to be made....things to be planned. What to do. I feel sort of like the white hare in Alice in Wonderland. I'm late, I'm late for a very important date. No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late I'm late I'm late!!

So you see the picture that is in my head. Chaos. Complete confusion, and no outlet for my frustration. Have to do my taxes soon. Need to get the money.

Lynnette 2:58 PM

Monday, February 21

 

Hunter S. Thompson commits suicide

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled. - Hunter S. Thompson

Gonzo, rest in peace.

Lynnette 11:00 AM

Friday, February 18

 

An Ode to Sallie...

At this time I would like to sing the praises of my friend Sallie. Ironically we became closer when I moved away. We were work buddies in Lincoln, and then when I found myself alone, lonely, and desperate for friends we started emailing back and forth. Now I think she knows more about me than she cares to know! Here are just a few reasons why my friend Sallie is awesome: blowing on ice cream because it's "hot", tapping our cookies to ash them, she's my mmm gruh, together we have made "going for coffee" an artform, and she understands practicality in all aspects of life. Sallie, I *heart* you.

Lynnette 3:47 PM

Tuesday, February 15

 

Just returned from a full day of working. I arrived at my first job this morning at 7:53 am. A quick "dinner" at Arby's with Steve paved the way for my evening shift that just ended. And here I am, naked, tired, feet aching at 11:40 pm. Fuckin' A! Making BANK beeeyatch!!!

With all the extra benjamins I may treat myself to a real fucking Icelandic sweater when I visit next month (see, they're not cheap).

Time for sex and bed.

Lynnette 11:39 PM

Monday, February 14

 

Fatwas and babies...

I just read online that Ayatullah Khomeini's fatwa on Salman Rushdie is still "valid". The price for his head was up to around 2.8 million smackers....it is truly sad.

Also, I became and Aunt this weekend. Aunt Nettie. It's worth mentioning that I pronounce "aunt" in the manner of the insect, not the nasal-uppity Victorian "Ahhhnt", which I hate. Chris and Jess now have a son named Ethan who was born this past Saturday. Congrats!! Wow, Kitty is now a grandma!!

Lynnette 8:31 AM

Friday, February 11

 

Nebraska, the good life...?

The weekend after Steve and my birthdays we're visiting family and friends in Nebraska. I have a decaf date with my friend Sallie, which will be the first time I have seen her married and pregnant. She's due in..... May, I think, so she'll be about ready to burst! The rest of the weekend will be spent with my cousin celebrating her pregnancy. Personally, I'd rather dive into a take of Amazonian piranhas than attend a baby shower, but it means a lot to her.

There may even be time on Earth Day to visit the lovely University of Nebraska campus and sign up for classes. Wow, it's comin' up!!

Lynnette 4:12 PM

 

Arthur Miller passed away at 89.

Lynnette 12:15 PM

Tuesday, February 8

 

Brief History of Nettie

Once upon a time there was a girl who loved the ocean. She lived in a town named after a great Indian Chief. The Fates thought it would be funny to make her move away from her blue clear love and plopped her into the red meat-infested state of Nebraska. For years she consumed beef unknowingly. Later she discovered it was actually pretty disgusting and gave her aches and pains (not to mention gas). Then she yanked that anchor on deck and flew to Minnesota. Here she discovered that 10,000 lakes do not equal an ocean.

Lynnette 3:04 PM

Tuesday, February 1

 

I'm Taking What They're Giving 'Cuz I'm Working For A Living

This Friday evening I start my second job. It’s sort of a pick-up-where-you-left-off part-time job at a huge corporate bookstore; my second time around with the chain, actually. It’s basically across the street from my day job, and I can get there without a car: bonus!

Sure the discount will be nice, but I’m a frequent flyer of the neighborhood library. The extra cash will be excellent. All for my goal, all for my goal. I’m sure the University of Nebraska would be pleased to know that I’m working now to pay them later.

Knitting is going well. I’ve already completed two crocheted scarves, but the knitting is holding solid in the practice phase.

I’m already tired, and it’s not even lunchtime. My darling caffeine, please invade my bloodstream.

Lynnette 8:14 AM