. . . Tupperware Cities . . .

Friday, May 28

 

Weight: 141 lbs.
Pints of Guinness (is there any other beer?): 4
Headache: minimal
Episodes of Buffy watched: 4.25 (we started to fall asleep)

Today is Friday. Lovely. Three day weekend ahead of me, in which nothing is planned except an outing with friends to see "Supersize Me". Looks promising.

Lemur exhibit opens at the Minnesota Zoo, but alas, the zoo itself is lame. I miss my Henry Doorly and my Lied Jungle. I'll visit you again, dear, just you wait and see.

Shows coming up, movies to watch, Netflix to rotate, things to do, places to go, people to see...

Lynnette 8:13 AM

Thursday, May 27

 

inhale 3, exhale 2

This morning was the first time, in a long ass time, I was able to drag myself out of bed at 6am and downstairs to the gym. My plan was to swim, but I didn't feel I had the time. I grabbed a CD and was off. Luckily Hissing Prigs in Static Couture is a great album to work out to. Strange, really. I bet most of the albums I used to rock out to in shitty venues like the Cog Factory (is that place still around) are probably spectacular for "sweatin' to the indies".

And I must say, any day that begins with the Modest Mouse song "Float On" already in your head as you wake up, can't be all that bad!

Fuck. It's summer, time to lower the influx of netflix. The influx of netflix must come down, to be sure. I just don't have the time to stay indoors and watch movies. However, this period of rest from the boob tube will come after we finish Buffy Season 6.

Alright, I'm gonna try the Bridget Jones' thing:

Last night: 2 cigarettes, 1 pint Guinness
Weight: 147 lbs.

Lynnette 8:20 AM

Monday, May 24

 

Veggie autos

No, this is not bullshit. Yes, you can power your car with vegetable oil. I want one.

Lynnette 4:53 PM

Friday, May 21

 

Lincoln, here we come! (and Harry Potter)

In light of our pending celebrations this evening for the reunion of the crew we must also remember to give a nod to the man in gold, Mr. T. Today marks his 52nd birthday! I pity the fool!

Here is an essay from Candice on why I said "Harry Potter is the greatest thing since sliced bread". Enjoy.

So I’m bored out of my friggin mind here at work as the number of freaky customers coming in today has been miniscule. Bender and I have been discussing the abomination that is having to wait years for the next book of Harry Potter #6 and how we cannot wait that long…as we need it like a drug, we need it like a hippie needs to burn sage and dance around the wigwam...We need our Harry Patter, so now to relieve my boredom, per Bender's request I am going to tell you why as Bender says, Harry Potter is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Let us begin by harkening back to days of yore when we were all young and job free and actually believed in magic and the possibility of discovering or experiencing something that no one ever had. Remember when secrets weren’t a bad thing, when you could hold a secret of something beautiful in your head and hands and tall tales were TRUE and you witnessed them and sometimes things were just so fucking special and amazing you wanted to keep it all to yourself so that moment, that secret was YOURS and you didn’t have to share it with anyone else? And you BELIEVED and IMAGINED all kinds of awesome shit. Remember playing Ghosts in the Graveyard after the sun had gone down, the night had started to cool, the cement still warm and all around you the night thick with fireflies. And KNOWING that there just might be real ghosts playing with you thusly scaring the bejesus out of you? What that all boiled down to was unencumbered joy-something we seem to lose as adults. Our joy is cautious and distrustful and most of us certainly don't believe in magic or the beauty of strangeness. And remember the wonderful magical worlds that we got to explore and live in via spectacular books like The Chronicles of Narnia (oh man.. so fucking excellent, even now), The Bridge to Tarabithia and the magic inside any Shel Silverstein poem? This is the first poem in Shel Silverstein’s oh so wonderful book of children’s poetry The Sidewalk at the End of the World, it is the perfect prelude to what it is to be in that world:

Invitation
If you are a dreamer, come in,
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer ...
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in!
Come in!

Oh yes my friends. And for those of you who read and loved Shel's work you did come in and you were mesmerized and delighted. And with Harry Potter we are invited into an amazing world that causes children and adults to Believe. Oh yes, what a beautiful word and what a wonderful thing to be able to do…to believe. We believe in The Boy Who Lived and his wretched human family and his amazing escape to Hogwarts and the world of magic and wizards. And when you read Harry Potter…you absolutely, no questions asked, believe that wizards are real and so are dragons and quidditch and that a little boy who it seemed no one wanted to love could be responsible for saving a civilization of people and praised as a hero.

JK Rowling, the author, creates such an amazing detail filled world…it’s a world that is so rich in description and detail you can envision everything, which is no small feat since the wizard world that Harry and his cohorts exist in is a very grand world indeed, full of invented foods, (butter beer anyone?) names (Voldemort oh so sinister), words (muggles are we all) and sports (quidditch, yo, if quidditch actually existed I might actually become a sports fan). And Rowling is so specific in her description that if you speak to anyone who has read the Potter books and ask them to compare how they saw Hogwarts (the wizard school) and how it was represented in the Potter movies they all see it the same. The specificity of her descriptions are delicious, I could eat them like a desert. And with these descriptions comes an intimacy that Rowling is sharing with you and you alone, and you get to hold that secret inside you and mull it over and examine from all angles.

I think as adults we are drawn to and captivated by these books because they allow us to feel that joy we did as kids when the possibility of a forest full of magical creatures still existed for us, or if you are Shawn and still dream of riding a unicorn perhaps you still carry that hopeful belief with you, either way it takes us back to that place before we were beat down with reality and jobs and bills and allows our minds to play again. But its not just that because then any number of children's books could do… these books are not written in a way that talks specifically to children, in fact with each passing book Rowling is writing towards an ever older audience. There are many adult themes occurring in the book…friendship, love, hate, good vs. evil, abandonment, death, murder etc. It’s a very dense book that uses magic as a catalyst. And every character we encounter, good or bad (usually a little of both) is so well developed. Even the "evil" characters…Snape, Voldemort…are shown to have a side we have compassion for. And the characters that are good that we are supposed to love…oh how we love them. Ron, Harry, Hermione, kind and blundering Hagrid-they are as close to our hearts as those we love in the flesh. I know I am not the only one who cried in book 5 when a dearly loved character died…I cried the entire last 50 pages of the book...because the characters feel so real.
And besides all that, Harry himself is so cool. If I was 13, and he was real I'd be having a mad crush on him with his messy hair, skinny underfed body and lightning shaped forehead scar. Oh and did I mention the books are HILARIOUS??? OH my god, I cannot tell you how hard I laughed when I read about gnome tossing. Its like a place I miss and the only portal is through the book. To sum it all up, Harry Potter is better than sliced bread cuz reading it "I laughed. I cried. It was better than Cats."

Lynnette 9:25 AM

Tuesday, May 18

 

May 18, 1980

When I was a kid I used to think that the mountain I could see from my backyard, only if I climbed up to the middle of it and held onto the neighbors tree, was Mt. St. Helens. In reality it was probably just a local mountain from the nearby Cascades. My mom had a jar of ash from the explosion, and still might. I still have a dozen full newspapers covering the explosion on May 18th, and in the aftermath discovered in the following days. This fall I may return to the area, and see the volcano for myself, as I never did when I lived there.

Folks, today is the 24th anniversary of the most recent eruption of my favorite volcano: Mt. St. Helens.

Lynnette 8:36 AM

Monday, May 17

 

DREAM: Mary-Kate Olson, John Goodman and me

I pretty much had a dream that entire consisted of an afternoon of walking around and hanging out with Mary-Kate Olson (of Olson twins fame) and John Goodman (of many good roles fame). John and I were asking Mary-Kate about the new drama she was staring in, and how it felt to be taken as a serious actress, finally. She was polite, even thought at the beginning of our afternoon I had to ask “which one” she was. Mary-Kate obliged with an answer and a secret on how to tell her apart from her sister Ashley. Then the three of us fought humid, heat-filled, tornado-like winds down a hallway where the only thing to grasp onto was the doorframes we passed along the way. Yeah, that’s about it.

Lynnette 9:02 AM

Thursday, May 13

 

The plan for next weekend in Lincoln will go down as follows....

1.Get drunk at Candice's house
2.Have a MINIMUM of one person fall down and/or fall of Candice's (or any given) porch
3.Find antlers to wear for the weekend (maybe this should be our number one priority)
4.Mobile project
5.Mow the lawn while drunk
6.Use dangerous lawn tools while drunk
7.See the top of the capital building (perhaps, although I’m sure we're S.O.L. on a Saturday)
8.Avoid junkies and fags, cuz they just bring us down
9.Take assloads of pictures and movies with my new fandagled camera
10.Enjoy the assloads of pictures and movies we make with my new fandagled camera the next day when we are sober
11.Eat dead animals.

Lynnette 4:09 PM

 

CANDICE'S DREAM: Torn between 2 friends

Last night I dreamt that I was torn between two friends. You oh Bender and Mel. Mel was getting married and I was her maid of honor. And also you and Steve were getting married and I was co-maid of honor with Burke. Now I know that when you marry Steve, Amy and I are going to have certain types of dresses you want us to wear but that we have some control and they will be fabulous. In my dream you had someone like Jean Paul Gaultier designing our dresses . They were incredible, I need to actually make them.. they were that 50's aqua color and stark white. the dresses themselves were aqua and they were sleeveless no straps or nuttin very tight around our tits and middle which made our bobbies look boobylicious , then it went out to this large bell.. there was a faux hoop skirt underneath the skirts were a mix between a poodle skirt and a southern bell only they fell to a couple of inches below the knee. then we wore a white sleeved shrug of sorts on top but it only covered our arms , we also wore very pointy high patent white leather pumps.. fabulous. My hair was long and blonde and in a high pony tail. I'm going into so much detail about how I looked cuz it was fantastic. I mean I felt fabulous.. oh also dangling from a little metal chain on my wrist was a small white patent leather purse that matched the shoes. Well anyway you were on one side of the river in Minneapolis. And I was there helping you with the wedding. You were wearing jeans and your Alabama t-shirt.. you were getting married in that gear and Steve was wearing those jeans that the zipper is held up with a bobby pin and his torn Pixies t-shirt. So you guys were gonna be all casual but you made me and Burke get all dressy and you were getting married in an old warehouse room and the pew were white with aqua colored padding that matched our dresses, and you had white and aqua roses all around. So anyway before the ceremony could start I had to go across the river to St Paul to drop off something at Melissa's house. Well when I get there Melissa is saying "there you are we thought you were gonna be late for the wedding" and I was confused cuz I was sure your weddings were different days. But it turns out they were the exact same day at the exact same time, and weirdly enough Melissa's wedding colors were the same as yours so she didn't see anything weird about my outfit. Well I was trying to slip out of the hall before she noticed cuz I knew I had to choose which wedding to go to and I was going to be at yours. But I couldn't get out! the doors were locked and her brother Cliff kept following me around and saying "hey I bet you cant wait until you're married and have kids too." and all the kids were total brats and he kept saying "when are you gonna have kids why don't you watch this kid" and I freaked out and I was like "those f**king kids are getting stuff on my Gaultier dress!!! and then suddenly I not only had to be in Melissa's wedding and miss yours but suddenly I had two kids that were like MINE like they became mine someone I didn't birth em but I HAD to take care of em. the last thing I remember is running down the stair well. it was like 20 stories and I'm freaking running for my dear life down those stairs in my Gaultier dress and the only thing IM thinking is "this dust is gonna be hell on my shoes"

Lynnette 3:12 PM

Wednesday, May 12

 

DREAM: Seattle

As with most people, the book I'm reading at the moment has infiltrated my dreams. It's Discovery Channel's Insight Guide on Seattle, the same publisher of the book I read on Iceland before Steve and I visited Reykjavik. It's amazingly well-written and extremely informative. But it's making me nostalgic. I haven't been back there since 1992, when I stopped there during a high school trip to Canada.

In my dream Steve, Burke the crackbaby, and I were visiting Seattle. I had a rough idea of the itinerary, and things I wanted to see, while the others were wandering around aimlessly. It began in Eastern Seattle, in a neighborhood in which I knew I didn't want to be. There were no sounds, no people, just a lot of graffiti, and out of nowhere a pit bull was chasing us. We just nearly made it to the car, fished keys out of our pocket (mine) and made it inside before the dog was upon us. We left for the Westside immediately. Downtown we enjoyed the tour of "Underground Seattle", and saw the sights: Pioneer Square, Pike Place Market, and the Ballard Locks. (Note to reader: what I'm describing can be true. Ballard Locks aren't IN Seattle, they're in.. well... Ballard. And the East side isn't that bad.) We made it through Everett and onto Lynnwood, my hometown. We made it though the Lynnwood city limits just a few blocks when we were confronted with a ferry road. I say ferry road because instead of a boat that would carry our car across the river (where there is not river, in reality) it was actually a portion of the road which would traipse across the river and bring your car to the opposite shore. Unfortunately, the ferry road exchanged shores once a day, and we had missed that days ferry by mere minutes. Instead we meandered back into the heart of Seattle, where we ended up at a keg party, with some locals. Some of them asked what the hell we were doing in their city, and I told them I was from there, and had seriously considered moving back to the area.

Lynnette 8:35 AM

Tuesday, May 11

 

DREAM: Freaks & Geeks

Steve and I had similar dreams last night; both claim appearances by the character "Daniel" from the quite overlooked, short-lived television series 'Freaks & Geeks'. Steve dreamt that he, Daniel, Burke the crackbaby and I were hanging out in Denver. Mine was a bit more complicated than that...

I was actually the character "Lindsey", and of course, true to the show, I had a sort of forced crush on "Nick" the rocker/freak/huge dork character on the show. So all the freaks were hangin' out at a restaurant, when Daniel started a fight and got us kicked out. We carpooled over to the Mall of America where we did what teenagers have done since the dawn of suburbia: hang out at the freakin' mall. Daniel continued to flirt with me, without being to blatant, and Nick returned the crush just as I was losing interest. Weird. At least I dream of good television shows.

Lynnette 8:49 AM

Wednesday, May 5

 

DREAM: Iceland in the summertime

I returned to Iceland last night with Steve and my mom. At first it started with Steve and I wandering around Reykjavik again, this time with a local acting as a sort of informal guide. This time we ate at different restaurants, and saw an aquarium in which they gave free tastes of beer made of fish. They would gut the fish in front of you, slow-mo style so you could see the muscle being ripped from the skin and skeleton. What was left on the carcass looked like quivering maggots. Oddly, the beer was delicious.

Later, my mom and I went wandering around out of the city in fields next to mountains and icebergs. I took some lovely handheld self-portraits with my mom and myself in the foreground of several snow-capped mountains. It rained, and then stopped, and then rained again, as the weather is wont to do in Iceland.

Makes me wish I could return sooner.

Lynnette 8:37 AM

Tuesday, May 4

 

DREAM: Giuseppe Verdi's La Traviata

It was a short dream; short in length, short in detail. I went to New York City for a visit with my mom, and while there we went to the opera. The opera had already started which was a disappointment since I hadn't yet seen Verdi's La Traviata . We walked in with our beers (yes, beer at the opera, the perfect blend wouldn't you tend to agree) and started down an aisle. Halfway between the door and an empty row of seats in the 65th row we were stopped by an usher. Directed to the box office we bought a pair of tickets and discovered that we were sold seats in the 96th row of the opera house. Much to our dismay (here the cliché is quite appropriate) the 96th row was in fact wooden, lacquered bleachers in a sort of anteroom where the opera was broadcast over ceiling-mounted television screens. It was then that I remembered that when one travel's to New York City you must get in line early and wait for the discounted performance tickets. Next dream I will remember.

Lynnette 8:43 AM

Monday, May 3

 

Next up: Seattle

Steve and I went to Denver to see friends, enjoy the scenery and to see his boyhood home in Parker, Colorado. Our next trip, early next year will be to the beautiful Pacific Northwest state of Washington, and Seattle to find, as Steve says, my "boyhood home". Luckily I have a step aunt (do those exist?) who lives in the heart of the city, so lodging will be free. It's wonderful how things work out sometimes, isn't it?

Lynnette 1:36 PM

 

DREAM: Fecund, Ecumenical, "Lynette"

I dreamt all night about the definitions of the words 'fecund' and 'ecumenical', simply because both were used in a single Kids in the Hall sketch I watched over the weekend. I know what they both mean, but it was tiring to dream of simply two words throughout my delta sleep. Lynette was a little girl who lived across the hallway from Steve and I in our new apartment. She came up to me and introduced herself because her mom had told her we had the same name. I said are you one N or two Ns? She answered one, so we agreed to call each other "One" and "Two" so as not to confuse people.

Lovely weekend, very relaxing, and enjoyable. That is to say, save for the 3 hours I sat watching Dogville, and the 3 hours I sat listening to 2 of the most annoying people in the world prattle on like absolutely twits! Candice knows who I'm talking about... yup. The twins.

Lynnette 8:34 AM