. . . Tupperware Cities . . .

Monday, March 29

 

Over the weekend Steve and I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It's always so refreshing to see a unique, original film. Granted, Kaufman's manipulation of plot line isn't new, but his take on the development of the plot is constantly impressing me, and his script with Michel Gondry's direction made for an excellent pair. Everyone should go see this film.

Even Candice, even though she hates Jim Carrey.

Lynnette 1:56 PM

Friday, March 26

 

DREAM: A purchased cadaver, the dying anorexic and Mall of America

When I woke up after the first dream about the cadaver I was so disturbed/intrigued by the lucidness of the events that I almost got out of bed to write it all down. My boyfriend, Steve, and I wanted to join a talent show that was in progress in the building where I worked. There were typical acts; a magic show, acrobats. We wanted to stand out, be different; so we decided on a scientific display of the internal organs and spinal cord of a recently acquired cadaver. We bought one. It arrived naked, with iodine still staining the skin from the forensic testing. Apparently she had been a murder victim. All hair was shaved off the body except for a greasy mess of dirtied, blonde hair bundled haphazardly too high up, the ponytail almost shooting directly out of the top of the head. It was a gruesomely thin body, and her pelvic bones stuck out stretching the skin, most of which had turned an ugly pale-green color, the rest remained bluish from death. My first idea was to pick up the body and drop it on the floor; this was to test the sound of the skull hitting concrete. We ran around to the windows and tried to cover them all with paint sheets that were laying around the warehouse floor. Opening the tool closet, we squeamishly hoisted it up off its hanger. After it fell to the floor I wasn't content with the volume of the crash so I picked up the ponytail and hit the head on the floor a few times, just for curiosities sake. (hey, I don't ask to dream these things people, it just happens) For our display for the talent show we were planning on exposing at least one organ, preferably the liver, and removing the spinal cord completely and putting it in a separate cabinet for show. Neither one of us could muster up enough courage to take the scalpel to the body, make a single incision.

The dying anorexic was the daughter of the founder of Montgomery Wards, the department store. She had been slowly slipping away until one day she expired, quietly in her father's store. This particular store happened to be located in the Mall of America. Her soul was transferred to an antique bicycle that had been on display in the store since it's opening; a sort of reminder of the beginning of the company. The red paint was composed partly of her blood. Well she told me (after death) to take the bicycle out of the Montgomery Ward's store and ride it around the Mall of America. As I stopped to allow passengers to board the bicycle a faint glowing figure would appear on a small hand pillow, letting me know the location of all the ghosts. Strangely, everyone I picked up on the bicycle was a ghost that day.

Lynnette 5:05 PM

Thursday, March 25

 

I'm also considering a vacation (if you can call it that) to Lincoln, NE to hang with my ol' buddy, that bitch Candice. So far our plans include getting drunk at Pioneer's Park (which we agree warrants the borrowing of someone's dog for the afternoon), manicures, and O'Rourke's. I would also like to add to that seeing the top of the capital building again. When I moved they were still renovating and cleaning the building, so the observation area of the tallest building in Lincoln was under wraps. Hopefully now, it will be open.

Lynnette 8:34 AM

 

Prince announced a third tour date in St. Paul. New York City will be the only other city with three consecutive shows. Aaah, he really does love the Twin Cities.

Lynnette 8:32 AM

Wednesday, March 24

 

Nightmare

Further stress this week at work has led to the development of a most disturbing dream. Details will be skimmed over for the sake of time…but, mostly because I don’t want to dwell on those thoughts.

It began in a hotel I where I was living was next door to a graveyard full of children. Everyone told me to stay away from it, but, of course, I had to find out what the scoop was for myself. The graves were in circles, smaller and smaller heading up a hill. I walked around the circles, the climbed to the next level, did the next circle. The further I walked the creepier I felt, to the point I could start hearing screaming children.

Flash forward to me tied-up and tortured for three days in the foyer of my old house in Lincoln. I finally escaped to the neighbor’s house when my assailant fell asleep. I was naked with only some slices of melted mozzarella.

Lynnette 9:22 AM

Tuesday, March 23

 

Candice's Guide to Boys Part 2: The Ethnic Boy(a hottie of a different flavor)

Ethnic boys are trouble. Not necessarily bad news, the trouble is this if you've never been into an ethnic boy before and suddenly find yourself lusting after one know that from this point on, whatever it is that has drawn you to this particular guy whether it be his amazing skin or his large brave nose or pillow soft lucious pink lips -will draw you to to his kind forever and ever amen. You will see boys on the street that normally you wouldnt have been intersted in .. but then you will notice they are one of his people and youll find yourself looking.. and admiring and drawn like a moth to the flame. Be prepared to be burned-or at the very least -singed -but its okay to smolder sometimes so dont let that stop you. The saying "once you go black you never go back" isn't around because its based in untruths-its around because of its gospel truth. Friends, how many b*tches do we know that can't get enough of the big black c**k??? oh many. many. You may insert your ethinicity of choice for black.
Be very aware that your interest in this boy may purely be physical. You may tell yourself that you are not a shallow person, that you would certainly not be intersted in someone just because of how they look.. but the skin.. oh that sensual skin.. it may trick you into believeing that you are interested in a boy who has nothing in common with you besides a mutual attraction and love of chile verde con puerco. If you do surrender to the fact that it is purely phyiscal.. feel okay about this..call it a chance to get to know someone of a different mind.. expanding your horizons. And in the process you may actually find you have common ground. Call that "growing".
But you will be from different worlds. And that will mean lots of barriers between having an actual relationship. Be prepared for your family , as liberal and down as they may seem, to react with a look of disappointment when you tell them his name. Be prepared for his family to treat you like the "white girl". Be prepared to feel your whiteness. Be prepared to be treated differently than the white boys treat you. Depending upon their cultural background this can mean many things-but usually its all about gender stereotypes. Which can be allright. You may very well feel more like a woman than you ever have. You may very well end up hating the submissive role you could end up taking. Beware of jealousy, ownership, power games and everything that goes along with "machismo" in whatever language that it may manifest itself. Do not let yourself forgive things you wouldnt otherwise because his cultural background is different.
Boys of the non-european flair have a different attitude towards your body and sensuality than white boys do. An ethnic boy will love your body, and will tell you about it in no uncertain words. His body is a temple as well... be prepared to worship at the altar. He may speak another language. You probably wont understand it. He will tell you things in his language that may be the raunchiest, dirtiest things you've ever heard..you will think they sound beautiful. Even if he's just from the hood "I wanna freak you wild" is much hotter than "Hey ya wanna do it?" . Dont bother learning his language. Unless you plan on marrying him. But you probably dont.
Know that ethnic boy will have changed your view of men forever, for good or for bad. Try to erase it with a whitey who is bland and steadfast..such as a Goon (installment to come). But you wont erase it. You will always see the men on the street.. with that particular curvature of face or jut of chin -allow yourself to reminisce. Or chase him down the street and go for it again.

Lynnette 8:21 AM

Wednesday, March 17

 

People who take an elevator one floor are fucking pathetic morons.

Lynnette 8:15 AM

Tuesday, March 16

 

so we're moving to the 'burbs. amazing deal, really. check it out. pull down floor plan with 1094 sq ft. that's the one. oh yeah.

Lynnette 8:16 AM

Wednesday, March 10

 

We'll always have Reykjavik

My plane landed and now I'm back home in beautiful downtown Minneapolis. The trip was amazing, and no retelling on a blog will ever do it justice. I'll try to post some pictures later on, and give a short run down of our adventure. Reykjavik was incredibly beautiful, clean, the people kind (not bold, but very kind), and the scenery was unbelievable. We drank water from the tap that tasted like bottled spring water and I had the best salmon I have ever salivated over. Found Damon Albarn's club, pointed out to us by a couple visiting from Notting Hill, then thought better.

Can't type much; in wrist splints; non-vacation related beginnings of carpel-tunnel syndrome. Joy.

Lynnette 7:56 AM