. . . Tupperware Cities . . .

Monday, March 31

 

Sadness in these lands...

I enjoy using ellipses, ya know the "dot-dot-dots". Two very terrible things happened to me today. I'm still in shock, I just can't even describe what I'm going through right now. It's just too...terrible for words. Okay, gee, I'll try.

Ben & Jerry's has cancelled my favorite flavor: Wavy Gravy. It happened sometime around the New Year and has been devastating lovers of the flavor ever since, myself included. The last year I have been wandering somewhat aimlessly around supermarkets and corner stores hoping that my beloved Wavy Gravy was just "sold out". Well I have passed over the denial stage and entered that of anger when I found Wavy Gravy on the list in the Ben & Jerry's Flavor Graveyard. What a sad day, what a sad and sordid state of affairs. That and the war.

Also, nobody in Minneapolis has apparently heard of or seen Altoid Sours. If anyone back in Nebraska is reading this please mail me some, either Citrus or the orange one, whatever they called it. I can't find them anywhere, and believe yous me, I have ASKED!

Time for wine.

Lynnette 10:15 PM

 

Kid B

Finally got a chance to hear the new Radiohead album. Shhh. I plead not guilty, as I plan on sending cash their way upon its official release.

Good news around this neck of the woods, is that we may have an apartment before our birthdays (the 20th and 21st of this month). This works out nicely gift-wise.

Lynnette 5:35 PM

Sunday, March 30

 

Roll out the barrels...

Congratulations goes out to my stepbrother Ryan for his engagement to Darnell, one of the coolest girls I know. I believe it was my drunken begging to "keep her in the family" at my going away party last month that pushed him over the edge. I love her, thank you Ryan for listening to your drunk stepsister!!

Lynnette 12:44 PM

 

CUYAHOGA FALLS -- A member of Ohio's 5694th National Guard Unit in Mansfield legally changed his name to a Transformers toy. Optimus Prime is heading out to the Middle East with his guard unit on Wednesday to provide fire protection for airfields under combat.

Lynnette 8:36 AM

Friday, March 28

 

DREAM: Boys, cars, and a vacuum

Last night Steve said I was talking in my sleep, a lot. This usually means I have a lot to say about something. My mouth never stops. And so, I dreamt I was sitting by a street curb in daylight, sort of leaning on my elbow to one side while I held onto 7 skateboards. They were sitting on their side just off the curb, in the street. Somehow one of the boards came loose and started rolling across the street. I went after it and found that I was wearing roller skates, which made the chase much easier. The board stopped rolling by a boy, my age (should I say man now, after all I am getting older) who was playing with a couple of toy cars. I asked him what the deal was with little boys' fascination with toy autos, but he just shrugged his shoulders and offered me a car. My toy was a small, neon green car that said "SUMMIT" on the side. They were the kind of cars that you pull back and the tires click and then the car zips away. The cul-de-sac in which I had found the boy was now a living room in a house. We kept playing with the cars until an Arab or Muslim woman came over to us with a vacuum. She couldn't speak any English and we couldn't speak her language either. The boy tried speaking jibberish to her, trying to fake her language and I made it clear to him that it was completely inappropriate. I attempted to use hand signals and nods to her to let her understand that we were leaving the room so she vacuum. The boy and I went into the tiled kitchen and had sodas: he a coke and me a sprite. Joy.

Lynnette 8:45 AM

Thursday, March 27

 

My first SCUBA !!!

Steve and I have just returned home from our night of "try scuba diving while it's snowing outside". It was awesome. Best twenty five bucks I ever spent.

After a short lecture on the basic equipment and rules, the five of us (students) drove to the nearby high school to use the pool. Fitted with thirty pounds of gear, masks and flippers we jumped in. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale; two things I usually never think about. Breathing underwater has to be one of the most surreal things I have experienced. Trying to remember that you DON'T have to remember to come up for air. For the last hour and a half Steve and I swam around, tried out hand signals and did skill tricks underwater. Felt just like flying in the water, as if breathing underwater was so natural.

Oh man, I hope I get a lot of money for my birthday so I can afford the certification class.

I just realized tonight was the first time in a loooong ass time that I have completely forgotten my worries: jobs, apartments, money, school, health. I'm glad that I was enjoying myself enough at the time to not tell myself, "You are having a good time, please remember this for posterity." It just now hit me, I haven't relaxed like and allowed myself to be in the moment in weeks.

Lynnette 10:40 PM

Wednesday, March 26

 

DREAM: For the ever-dapper Paul T. K.

Last night I had a dream that I visited you in good old Buffalo.

I was driving, not with any particular destination in mind, but eventually I drove to Buffalo after realizing that I had the time to finally visit Paul (uh, you). Your apartment looked empty so I figured I would wait inside until you got back from work. I was reading a magazine, killing time, when you came out of your bedroom wearing slacks and a light blue dress shirt. Your tie was crooked and you were straightening it until you saw me and, of course, were completely surprised. We laughed about the absurdity of it all, the distance, and how weird it was to see each other in person again. Then I think you either went to work for a short while or skipped out on it, I don't remember. In any event two of your friends came over and we hung out. A guy and a girl, but people I didn't know (duh). Most of the time was spent saying goodbyes and chatting on your lawn that strangely wasn’t full of snow but the rest of the city was. The sky above your house had a clear sky and lots of stars, but the stars moved around in a circle as if they were inside a planetarium.

Then I went home to find a massive slush, ice, and snowstorm. It was broad daylight but the streets were gushing with sharp, cold snow everywhere. Steve and Candice were going to pick me from the airport (apparently I had flown, now), but when I found their car it was stuck in a snow bank. Revving the engine only tipped the car onto its side so both of them were trapped. I ran for help which was the nearest indoor shopping mall and was giving insane directions to the police station. I finally stopped at the check-in of a Radisson and had the car towed.

Lynnette 8:41 AM

Tuesday, March 25

 

You gotta love live Oscars

Below is one of my favorite speeches from the Oscars. I had a loooooong discussion about this with my stepdad, who disagrees with me. He said it was not an appropriate time for that speech. I say it's a man's right to voice his opinion about the war, especially when he garners the attention of the Academy. It's interesting to me that America wants her people to be patriotic, yet when those people express how they feel about the issues (in this case the war in Iraq), it's "inappropriate", or rude. People may say, "Oh, well, he shouldn't have said that about the president." Fact of the matter is the president is a figurehead. There isn't one man in the White House running the entire world. It's the media that make it appear that way. However, since "W" is the figurehead he is there for the blaming.

Mr. Moore's anti-war statements echoed through the Oscars but he's the only one who received a half standing-O and half boos. How often does a documentary filmmaker as bold as Michael Moore have the opportunity to have a large chuck of the U.S. population, including many of those serving overseas, and the Academy at attention? I say bravo, speak your mind.

"I've invited my fellow nominees on the stage with us, and they are here in solidarity with me because we like nonfiction. We like nonfiction and we live in fictitious times. We live in a time when we have fictitious election results that elect a fictitious president," said Moore, who was greeted with both booing and cheering. "We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons, whether it's the fictition (sic) of duct tape or the fictition (sic) of orange alerts, we are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you, Mr. Bush! Shame on you!"

Lynnette 7:49 AM

Monday, March 24

 

My new favorite show of all time ever. I haven't laughed this hard in years. Da Ali G Show on HBO.

Lynnette 11:27 PM

Sunday, March 23

 

I haven't been up this early in a long time. My stepdad keeps saying, "So, how's our team doing?", in reference to the war. We all took bets, chose sides. I think I'm sticking with the red/blue team, but only because I like their colors better.

Lynnette 6:52 AM

Friday, March 21

 

Saw the puppies and each picked out one we would take home (if we could). Driving around Omaha doing the thrift store tour, I suddenly found my slight cough had become a full-blown headcold. I'm miserable. I'll play with my folks puppy, the latest one. They keep cycling through dogs; strange.

Lynnette 3:48 PM

 

I'm like a fine wine, better with age, although Rosemont Estates' Shiraz from '01 is still pretty damned good.

I am old. Well, older than I was back then. Make sense? My brother's show was great. The crowd loved him, I got to kick a guy, and we all went home happy. Steve and I went home after our good sumaritan work; taking a lost, drunk girl home. She was fucking crazy, but Steve said she was harmless. "Kara" kept insisting we were decoys in some strange event that was inevitably leading her to her doom. From the moment she got in the car she didn't stop talking about where she was from, guys that fucked her over, her kid (5 year old, who knows where it was last night), bisexuality and where she was going. It was a surreal learning experience: talk to your children about drugs and teach them that they are bad and destroy your brain even long after you stop. Wow.

I've been in Omaha for days now, so it was only a matter of time before my extended family swooped down. Today the swooping comes to fruition in the form of free lunch with Aunt Mary, my mom's older sister.

I can't believe we're planning on this, with all the shows in Minneapolis, but next month Steve and I are driving down for a weekend of Cat Power and our birthdays which fall on April 19, 20 and 21. Steve prides himself on being 12 hours older than me, give or take a few minutes. I digress, yes, we must return for Cat Power. She has gotten better with every album, and when I was first introduced to her by Chris Ohnesorge, one of the best fags in the world, I was completely turned off. Over the years Cat Power has grown on me, to the point that I really love her newest cd.

Lately, I've been more accepting of female vocalists, which is historically the opposite of my general taste. Mia Doi Todd, for example, would have made me vomit a few years back. Sometimes it's nice to take something seriously, rather than put a twist on it and place unwanted satire on an artist. Hard to explain, but as Paul tells me often, I'm mellowing out. Damn you Paul, why do you have to be right!

Lynnette 10:53 AM

Thursday, March 20

 

My, my, time does fly

In a few minutes here we're heading out to see my brother's show at the Ranch Bowl in Omaha. He's in a new band, nice guys, but I've only heard their cd before my brother joined. They are the headliners so it's going to be exciting to see a crowd of people there to watch something involving my dear, sweet, baby brother. Love you Nick.

Busy week, worked a bit, scored some fast cash, paid off my last credit card. Fuck yeah. Feels so good.

Lynnette 7:10 PM

Monday, March 17

 

That truck done flipped itself!

Yesterday on the way to Omaha, somewhere in the middle of Iowa along I-80 I saw with my own eyes a tractor trailer/semi-truck deal fishtail and then flip over and slide across the highway, blocking westbound traffic completely. We were heading westbound. After minimal debate we locked the car doors and walked up to the wreckage, with everyone else. State Patrol, local police, fire trucks, and an ambulance were on the scene in minutes. Rumor was the driver was reaching for a cell phone and lost control. Let me tell you, when you see something you have only seen in the movies (semi-trucks crashing over, and palm trees) one must pay strict attention.

Although, so much chit-chat sprung up between people sitting in cars, and people walking around, that I expected to see Robert Altman's camera crew out any second. Of course Altman was not filming a single scene movie that took place in Iowa, and our traffic was soon rerouted though some small town of about 300. People came out of the woodwork to look and wave at cars going by. Damn, must be pretty boring in Dexter, Iowa.

Lynnette 9:19 AM

Sunday, March 16

 

Omaha, here I come

Yeah so here I come.

Lynnette 8:57 AM

 

DREAM: For me

Last night she said oh baby .. wait. I'm logging a dream here, brain. So, ahem, night before this morning I dreamt one of the most surreal dreams I have had in a very long time. It had to do with high school crushes, enchiladas, falling in love, spiders, impromtu acting, children's games, modern art, electric fans, and getting chiggers from laying in the grass too long. The whole dream had this weird, warm, realness to it and I remember making mental notes and remembering lines of dialogue that were exchanged, and how the hell I would translate it into words that another person would understand. This morning I realized this wouldn't happen, that this dream was for me and me alone.

Lynnette 8:57 AM

Saturday, March 15

 

DREAM: Vacations, Paul T. Kruczynski is fucking cool and don't you forget it

I dreamt long and hard, but of course I haven't been taking my vitamins at night so I haven't been rememberin gmy dreams on a regular basis. Thus, vagueness. I dreamt Steve and I went on a vacation but we didn't know where to and why. We found ourselves in the middle of a lake with all our friends swimming around us. Jamie Williams was there, a friend of my friend Candice, and she immediately came swimming over to me for a warm greeting. Weird thing is, we're really not that close, just very good acquaintences, so I have no idea why she was hugging me.

Then Steve and I set outselves up for a mountain biking adventure, but when we were just about to start the journey with the rest of the group, the leader told us we would need to purchase helmets. Unfortunately, after searching through the vacation resort's store we found jack. The only helmet to be found were those little, leather/fabric ones that the guy wore who died instantly in the Tour de France when his head smashed into a wall. I was pissed, I couldn't wait to go biking and now it was impossible on my trip.

Shit! Then some other cool shit happened that I can't remember. Jamie Williams gave us all nicknames; mine was the Uncanny Lynnette. I don't know why. I have better things to do, like write my buddy Paul back.

Lynnette 10:12 AM

Friday, March 14

 

Cryogenically frozen teenagers

Today Steve and I checked out the Science Museum of Minnesota in downtown St. Paul. Our time there would have been much better had it not been junior high field trip day. Fortunately, they had dissipated around 3pm so we were free to roam the exhibits and experiments that were clogged with acne-farms earlier in the afternoon. At the end of the day we saw a short presentation on cryogenics, and then went out for din-din.

In other news, we will be back in Omaha and Lincoln next week for fun and business. I say business because my former work emailed me literally begging me to come back and train a new employee. Luckily, I'm pretty much the only person who can do that so I had some leverage as to what I wanted to get paid. Yes indeed. It will be nice to see some old friends and maybe go out on St. Patrick's Day with some folks from good 'ol Nebraska. If you see me say hello because I might not be back in Lincoln for a while!

Lynnette 7:56 PM

Thursday, March 13

 

Folk Implosion finally explodes

So that's it. I think Lou has begun his descent into boring music. We saw the latest version of the Folk Implosion last night and all I really have to say is, thanks for introducing me to Mia Doi Todd, one of the opening acts. At least I went away from the evening with something interesting. Near the end of the show I was so bored I reached in my purse and found a granola bar to choke down; that nasty protein bar that prevented me from passing out was better than their entire set. Oh Lou, is our love finally coming to and end? Shit.

Lynnette 3:29 PM

Tuesday, March 11

 

Eighty miles of joy...joy?

So we drove 80 miles today, according to the odometer on the Protege. The best part of living here is taking off on a new adventure each day and wondering what suburb or area we will end up in. Actually the best part about each day is enjoying the $6.95 Metro-area map I bought a week ago. This map have saved our lives so many times, and helped us find those groovy/retarded stores we enjoy and will continue to enjoy. Thank your god I moved, thank your fucking god I moved.

Honestly, I have never felt more liberated in my entire life. I have nothing but choices and opportunity in front of me. Yes I am drunk, but I'm a happy drunk, oh yes, I'm a happy drunk.

Oh yes, and I want Clay Aiken to win on American Idol.

Lynnette 11:00 PM

 

Go Resumes, work your magic!!

So my first official cover letter and resume went out today. The search has begun. Steve wants to be a zamboni driver; I say he's his own man. Although it would be pretty awesome to take romantic rides around the empty rink on the zamboni, yelling sweet nothings over the roar of the motor and ice melter. Go little resume, work your freakin' magic.

Lynnette 12:58 PM

Monday, March 10

 

DREAM: Installations: "I love to conform!", Furniture Designer Roller Disco

I dreamt one of the most vivid, lucid dreams I have in a long ass time. It was a combination of being on vacation, the first day of university classes, and going to an art exhibit; the exhibit being what it looked like on the surface. The exhibit was placed in several buildings throughout a Japanese-style garden, and there were people everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Unfortunately, everybody I talked to seemed to stuck on themselves, or showing off at the idea of being at an art exhibit that they didn't give me much attention. I made the most of the situation, however, and enjoyed the art on my own.

The first installation was "simple": a single room about 20' x 20' with cathedral ceilings, with a story painted along each of the four walls in small pictures. It was a story of a man who creates a fake severed head and then mails it to his ex-girlfriend. It began with the ingredients, and showed him mixing up the "batter" for the head. It took me nearly an hour to read the entire thing, and for some reason I was the only one in the room the entire time. After I left I started walking through the gardens, peaceful, open, talking to people about the exhibit. Of course, most thought I was crazy that an exhibit about a severed head was "brilliant". Nay-sayers! The garden became a huge, low-ceiling room with a smooth concrete slab for a floor. By huge I mean the size of a football field. Before the film ran I was sitting close to the front with a black girl with curly hair; I told her about the exhibit, and chit-chatted about school. She seemed disinterested and moved back. I, too, began to move my chair up, realizing that I was right down in front of the screen; the hundreds of people behind me couldn't see. Then I told myself, fuck it, I'm comfortable here, I'm not moving.

The second installation was a little more intense, since the observer literally became a part of the exhibit while they were observing. Two lines of people waited for doors to open at the end of a long hallway. About 100 or more people stood in each line, the lines side by side. We were all different, individual, and acted according to our own free will. After awhile the two lines came to share characteristics, actions. The front of the lines began to move a certain way which fell like a wave over the rest of the people waiting. Pretty soon we were all doing the exact same thing over and over; jumping from our platforms where we had been waiting in line, into a shallow pool of water yelling "I love to conform." As soon as we came to our collective senses the exhibit was over and we were ushered away. I must have fallen asleep at the end of the line because I awoke suddenly to a blonde stewardess-like girl in her early twenties. The gardens and art exhibits were closing, or so she told me. I thought this could be a part of MY observation of the second exhibit, so I asked her her name. "Lynnette," she replied, however when I asked her to spell it she said: L-I-N-E-T-T. Then she asked the spelling of my name and I said: L-Y-N-N-E-T-T-E, which she thought was odd. All of a sudden a storm of people appeared seemingly from nowhere, and the stewardess girl ran off with them, leaving me alone in peace and silence once again.

I found myself in an artificial alleyway, dank, dark, made of bricks, with an industrial garage door at one end, begging to be opened. Being all alone I had complete control over what I was doing, so I figured, what the hell. Before I reached the garage door I passed a door slightly ajar; distant voices poured out to me, but I didn't want to open that can of worms. As I came upon the garage door, it opened to show me a spinning carousel floor, with various couches and chairs spread throughout, disco balls and flashing lights, but no music. It looked like a furniture designers roller disco. A voice from the center explained that I had only to hop on, and choose a place to sit. Each time I moved to a different couch, something else about me would be learned. For awhile I jumped around from couch to couch, until I found one I liked and sat for a long time, spinning around in circles. I hopped off and back into the alley, causing the lights to stop flashing and the carousel floor to be motionless. Again, silence. I called for the person who had instructed me earlier, but to no avail. My time at the gallery was over.

Lynnette 10:58 AM

Saturday, March 8

 

DREAM: Vince Vaughn

I dreamt that Vince Vaughn told me he was into polyester and cheese.

Lynnette 10:52 AM

Thursday, March 6

 

Missing my Floppenstein...

I wasn't sad to be away from my loved ones until tonight. During a phone call to my folks I heard my cat meow, which I haven't heard in probably 3 weeks. My baby crying, and it brought tears to my eyes. Unfortunately, he's staying at the folks' until we get a place, so Kane may have to sit tight for a couple of weeks. Mee moo mee.

Lynnette 10:05 PM

 

DREAM: Chicago nightmare

I had a dream I had just moved to Chicago, and was trying to find an apartment with Steve. We looked and looked, finally settling (and I mean settling) upon a place in a dank, seedy neighborhood. The streets were dirty, bums everywhere, and the public transportation was frightening. For example, to catch a bus from our home elsewhere, we had to board the bus on the second floor of our building. Then the bus took off at a nosedive to the pavement, and crashed at it's next stop. The rides were murder on my insides, so we opted to walk.

Then I joined a school group which was touring the city by bus; a lot of the people were those who I worked with at OCIA. We made one stop and a cop hopped on, to give us a matching audio tour. He sat next to me and said my Japanese coworker was cute. Then a torrential rainpour started, and the bus was nearly washed off the street. Hopping out of the bus we picked up the box of documents we were lugging around and continued up the hill. Some people fell and went the way of the rainspouts, others, like me, continued up the hill to find shelter. Then all the power went out in Chicago and we could hardly see where we were going. A covered alleyway provided minimal shelter, but others ventured further up the hill to an escalator and water slide. We yelled through the storm for them not to go, but we were ignored.

Next thing we knew there was a news bulletin about 14 people dying in a water slide-escalator collision in downtown Chicago. C'est la vie.

Lynnette 10:47 AM

Tuesday, March 4

 

Best phrase heard on E! True Hollywood Story...EVER: "The Fat Man held a gun to Midget Man while the Lobster Boy beat Theresa."

I swear I heard that on television tonight.

Lynnette 8:38 PM

Sunday, March 2

 

I'm back and have spent my first 24 hours in my new city. Well, sort of city. We're in St. Paul, but hope to move to Minneapolis soon. Today we took off around the capital city, and saw some sights and scouted coffee shops and decent streets. Tomorrow I get my driver's license; so I guess a haircut is in order. So much shit to do, and so many backed up Netflix to watch !!! I just ate something my boyfriend's family calls "Mexican Puke"; unfortunately I didn't know it was one of those Midwestern "hot dishes" which includes potato chips as an ingredient. Please god be kind to my stomach.

Here's my plan for the upcoming weeks:
Get driver's license
Change address to establish residency
Phone home
Visit home
Collect the rest of my shit (Okay, just the important stuff like clothes, DVDs, and my Kane (mee moo mee)
Shop for shoes
See all the fucking shows I can (see below, beeyatches)

Upcoming shows a few feet from our doorstep:
3/5 The Sea & Cake
3/12 Royksopp, Folk Implosion
3/13 Coldplay (probably way overpriced)
3/18 Har Mar Superstar with Kelly Osbourne opening (this must be seen)
4/9 Les Savy Fav (French, French, we need more French!)
4/29 Yeah Yeah Yeahs
5/10 Bright Eyes (Steve will be attending alone due to my obvious dislike for his music)
5/17 Enon
5/25 Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks

Lynnette 9:42 PM