. . . Tupperware Cities . . .

Friday, August 30

 

DREAM: Great White Sharks, New house, Sleepwalking brother

Ever since I was a kid and my parents took me to the aquarium in Seattle I have had this thing about sharks, particularly Great White sharks. I'm not really scared of them, but they seem to haunt me, usually in my dreams. So I dreamt I was a kid again, although in the same-sized body I have now. I was in a large wading pool with several friends. The pool was one of those hard, molded-plastic types with designs of fish covering it. It was also oversized, as my child body was, being the same sized as an above-ground, permanent pool. So my friends and I are swimming, when I feel a presence of something, just under the heigth of the pool, circling us, over and over. I know it's a Great White, ya know Jaws. We figured out the only way to keep the shark from attacking us was to pull back the sides of the pool with our feet and bonk the shark on the head. So we spread out along the pool, each covering an area, and as the shark swam by in the air around the pool we let loose on the side of the plastic wading pool and hit the shark's head.

Shark dreams.


Fucking shark dreams.



I also had a dream that my parents, my mom and my stepdad, were building a new house and called me over to pick a new bedroom. Because I was the oldest I got to pick first, before my little brother. Of course my little brother will be 24 this year. In my dream the house was still being painted on the outside but was already slightly furnished. The upstairs had a lone bedroom, that was attached to it's own living room and kitchen area. After some debating I chose that as my bedroom. I realized that the stairway from my room down to the rest of the house looked in on the downstairs kitchen. One night I remember seeing my kid brother sleepwalking. I had friends over and we were fascinated to be able to see someone in that state. We gathered at the top of the stairs and shushed each other repeatedly; we tried not to wake Nick from his sleepwalk. Unfortunately, the shushing and gathering was too loud and he snapped awake, like nothing had been the matter. After I was living there for a few days I realized that my bedroom was attached to my office area. My two bosses were there giving orders and telling the employees about new procedures and policies. I realized the office was divided in two parts by a swinging door that was locked. I had no clue why no one else had figured out all you had to to was unlock the door and the tension through the office was dissipate.

Lynnette 2:21 PM

Thursday, August 29

 

BABY FISH MOUTH!! BABY FISH MOUTH!!...or a day off with Candice

I woke this morning and didn't want to start my vacation off with the doctor. I woke up and immediately went to the gym. Thank god Candice was calling when I walked in the door; I was starved! After listening to the Christian lady jibber-jabber at the gym I was ready for a big meal of grease. I thought the coffee was fabulous and Candice told me some secrets. Conversation was never better, nor was the chicken fried steak. I'm glad Candice talked me out of the red shoes because I only really needed the black pair; fuck yeah black shoes! Those hooker heels made my gams look even sexier, I may have to go back for them. Had I been Pat Benetar at approximately 11:45 this morning I would have bought those half boots, but alas.... I never thought that I would feel like the lion from the wizard of Oz. I thought the hair salon was a bit much myself.

Lynnette 10:58 PM

 

DREAM: Vacation day with Candice, Charcoal sticks, Evil black cats

I dreamt Candice and I were having a day off together, like we are today. I drove the car into an empty parking lot, in downtown Omaha. We parked at the far end so we could get some walking time in; it was still several blocks to downtown and the shopping areas. I mentioned to the bitch that if we lived an hour outside of San Francisco we would be in San Francisco right now, and not Omaha. Or we could be in Minneapolis, New York City, Seattle, or Chicago. Then I thought about what I had just said: Okay NO Chicago, blech. We walked into a shop that is frequented by many locals, and tourists for that matter. A shop inside a woman's home that sold all sorts of clothing, toys, natural foods, health products, shoes...yes it was fabulous. It was very dim however, and since we weren't from Omaha we didn't know of the tradition of taking a charcoal stick every time you came in. It was just polite. Well somehow I managed to trip over the woman's black cat on my way out the back door; Candice lingered and the woman told her I was not welcome there anymore. That I had upset the cat. Fuck it. We went back to the car and Candice got a call on her cell phone; it turns out the cat had actually gone ballistic on its own, that it went nutso on everyone, not just me. The shop keeper begged for us to return, yet I refused.

Lynnette 9:36 AM

Wednesday, August 28

 

Today in 1965 Bob Dylan, aka Robert Zimmerman, was booed off the stage for going electric. That's all. Today I work, and then have a 6 days vacation. Fuck. Yeah.

Lynnette 2:45 PM

Tuesday, August 27

 

Creepy Christians

I didn't sleep long enough last night to dream...I think. Woke up before my alarm as I do every day now and got to work at 715 this morning. Jesus fuckin' christ that's early.

But seriously folks, speaking of good 'ol J.C., my office just moved to a space within the Back to the Bible building. Fine right? Well the office is much nicer (i.e. no baby spiders landing on my head with each email I send, no mice to rescue from traps, and no moths fluttering around my monitor in the mornings). But there's another thing: this place is overrun with Christians. I don't really think it's necessarily their religion, per se, as much as it is there tone and eerily positive attitude. Each time I pass one in the hall way they look into my eyes deeply and say slowly, "Hello, good morning!" The smile always lingers as they pass me. When I'm not stunned or creeped out I respond appropriately. But the creepiest thing of all is the handshake, the double handed handshake where they utilize not only the creepy voice but also that haunting, blank, cult stare into your eyes. I think they are looking to convert me. If I start praising "God" in my posts please intervene. I seriously think they are after me.

Lynnette 8:07 AM

Monday, August 26

 

Husker Monkeys

Into the mouth of the beast, and back again. Candice, Ron and I got this great idea to venture downtown on Saturday. We figured the Husker Monkeys would have dissipated by then. Thanks to Ron for teaching me that the fans are just monkeys wearing red; they became a lot more bearable after that. Headed to Lazlo's for din-din; what the fuck were we thinking? After an enormously long wait, we were served by a fabulously suckable waiter, eh Xan? Afterwards, the bitch and I went and saw Signs, which as not-so-thinly-disguised Christian propaganda, does not deserve a link to the IMDb. I thought it was.... eh... ok; Candice liked it though.

Lynnette 7:47 AM

Sunday, August 25

 

DREAM: Cathy Bishop's wedding, Ghetto, Minneapolis

I dreamt I was in some sort of Shallow Hal reverse situation. Some guy who looked like Richard Gere (or so I thought), but weighed like 600 pounds in real life proposed to me. The most fucked up thing about this is I don’t find Richard Gere attractive at all. Anyways, I had three rings, each with three fake diamonds on it, on a gold band; I hate gold, and well I hate jewelry, and especially I hate diamonds. Before the wedding I had time to go upstairs in this office building and tell some girls off that I went to high school. I found one of their desks and said; Julie, do you remember me? It's Cathy Bishop (what? why was my name Cathy Bishop?!) Remember in high school when I used to weight a lot? I had on a blue wrap around dress and started toying with my belt, to draw attention to my body so she would notice how comparatively thin I had become. "Julie" said one moment please, and dialed an extension. It rang at the desk right next to her, which was occupied but another girl I went to high school with. Julie tried to talk in code to the other girl about me while I was standing there. I thought it was laughable, told them they both sucked and beat them up; basically I just punched them with my hand with all the rings on it; cut 'em up real good. I started to take off and then realized I was missing my second ring! I went back to Julie's desk and found it lying on the ground; she was still clutching the gash in her cheek. Then I took off running down to the carriage that was waiting for me to take me to the wedding. The rest of this dream sequence I was watching it all happen like a movie; I was no longer Cathy Bishop.

Someone had written a paper about the ghetto, not sure what city. As I read the paper I actually followed the streets, floating above it. The paper became and audible narration as I swept down city streets and alleys. Then I started going into bottles, brown beer bottles, which had been laid at the end of streets, and highways, as sort of entrance/exit ramps. Inside the bottle, come out somewhere else. The last bottle I went into let me out into an inside pool area; a lap pool, extremely narrow stretched out in a square shape (like one I would build for a Sims person to kill them). I walked around but didn't see anyone. I was carrying one ski when I finally found the jukebox. It was a glass case, like you would see at a shop, and had a sliding door in front so you could pull things out. The cds were labeled in pen on a small white sticker; numerically and alphabetically organized. My pal Amy "Crack Baby" Burke showed up and started telling me about how great the jukebox/case was. After inspecting the titles I realized it was full of soul and decent rap. It turned out it was a pool area just for brothas and sistahs, but I was down so they let me swim. Amy stayed behind; I laid my ski on the side of the pool and left for Minneapolis.

Minneapolis, dead winter. I was walking around the city alone, looking for my book again. (last night I dreamt I was going back and forth between 2 rooms, filled with people I work with, looking for my Vonnegut book-yeah that's about it). It seemed like something out of A Christmas Carol, or about that time when the earth was having unseasonably harsh weather, in all seasons. The city seemed like it had been taken back 150 years; the streets were cobblestones, where they weren't covered with snow, and there were horse-drawn carriages everywhere. As I was crossing the street I bumped into friends; I don't know them in waking life. We ordered food and this guy that was with me, who was wearing round glasses, ordered a Greek salad. It showed up, full of corn and curry. We warned him it would be hot, in both senses of the word, but he didn't listen. Afterwards I was walking home, crossing a snow-filled street when I dropped my food: a single red potato and 2 leaves of spinach. At first I was going to leave them on the ground, but then realized I would be hungry later. I said out loud, to no one in particular, "I will be hungry later, I better save these," which I followed with a careful harvesting of my three skimping food items.

Lynnette 10:01 AM

Thursday, August 22

 

I'm reading Vonnegut's Slapstick. It's one of the few books of his I haven't read yet. I can't encourage you enough to go out and read his fiction, it's fantanstic. Breakfast of Champions has to be my favorite book of all time. It begins:

This is a tale of a meeting of two lonesome, skinny, fairly old white men on a planet which was dying fast.

One of them was a science fiction writer named Kilgore Trout. He was a nobody at the time, and he supposed his life was over. He was mistaken. As a consequence of the meeting, he became one of the most beloved and respected human beings in history.

The man he met was an automobile dealer, a Pontiac dealer named Dwayne Hoover. Dwayne Hoover was on the brink of going insane.

Lynnette 3:54 PM

Wednesday, August 21

 

Holy Fucking Shit! It's my anniversary today! What's even better is that my boyfriend reminded me!! Damn, I can pick 'em.

Lynnette 3:47 PM

 

Last night we were laying in bed, just about to drift off and my brain shot awake with this; hey steve you know if the north pole of earth was north in the universe, and the south pole was south in the universe then we are upside down in the universe. Then I went on to explain how the universe had boundaries and displayed what I thought the universe would sound like when it collapsed in upon itself. If you know me, ask me to demonstrate this phenemenon.

Lynnette 6:37 AM

 

Shopping together for the first time, Movies with the coworkers, WEEZER

In my dream Bill Patterson and I had just met. We were still shy around each other, testing the water so to speak. We were at a department store which seemed to be an amalgam of Target, Super Saver, and HyVee. Yes it was strange. We each grabbed a cart, not yet accustomed to shopping "together". My cart was hardly full when we met up later in the midddle of the store, while his cart was full of tan things; tan blender, tan phone shaped like a gumball machine without a stand, tan clothes, tan food. Yes it was strange. I told him I would put my things in his cart since mine was less full. We continued shopping. Somewhere in the store my coworkers showed up.

I remember trying to convinced some of my coworkers with kids that the movie Bedknobs and Broomsticks absolutely rules, especially for the little 'uns. One of them asked specifics like the plot, appropriate age group, etc. I told them it was based on Nancy Drew books but had been taken down a notch for the Disney film. We were called to order in a type of staff meeting and each group of 2 or 3 people were assigned a chair/TV to watch a Netflix film. They were called out, with corresponding names; the only movie I remember being called out before mine was "Swordfish", which I was extremely glad I didn't get assigned to. My film was Bedknobs and Broomsticks, with Murder She Wrote's Angela Landsbury. It was as fabulous as it was when I was a kid.

Bill Patterson and I were leaving the shopping center, after having bought pink sunglasses, a yellow striped V neck sweater. We were holding hands, skipping, and humming Weezer tunes down the street. It was a residential neighborhood that I don't remember seeing outside of my dreams. However in this state of mind, duh asleep, it was familiar to me. I took BP by the hand and told him I was going to show him where Weezer's frontman, Rivers Cuomo, lived. We went to a house and around the back and set a boombox down by the back stairs. I asked him who the lead singer of Til Tuesday was, who was now a solo artist and awesome songwriter. He couldn't think of it. I went through songs in my head and names on my tongue; Alanis Morrissette, Alana Myles (ya know that shitty song "black velet"?), Annie Lennox... I couldn't think of it, but I could hear songs in my head. Then when I was on the verge of giving up this pimply little guy came around the corner, with a friend in tow. Aimee Mann, he said. Fuck! That was her name. Thanks guys. They continued past us and started into the basement. Before they disappeared I asked them when the show was that night. They kinda winked at me and said, well if you hadn't said anything the show would've begun in a few minutes for you guys! They were teasing so, and BP and I went inside to watch a free Weezer basement show. It was neato frito, as they say. Then we sat around on their parents old davenport in the basement and watched MTV; in my dreams MTV plays videos. Fuckin' unbelievable!! Then BP said he had had too much to drink and that he was wasted and I looked over at him as he became a snowman, slowly, layer after layer. I knew he was just going to sleep. I kept talking with Rivers and his flunkies and watched a video they made for their new album; it was hilarious; stop-action camera work with these one inch high gnome-looking things, making them walk around and do things at normal speed. In my dream I was laughing my ass off.

Lynnette 6:22 AM

Tuesday, August 20

 

For Tom, my Wolf Buddy who is missed

Call me morbid, call me pale. I've spent 6 years on your trail. Six long years on your trail. Call me morbid, call me pale. I've spent 6 years on your trail. Six full years of my life on your trail. And if you have 5 seconds to spare, then I'll tell you the story of my life: sixteen, clumsy, and shy. I went to London and I I booked myself into the YWCA. I said I like it here can I stay. I like it here can I stay. Do you have a vacancy for a backscrubber? She was left behind, and sour. And she wrote to me on the hour. she said In the days when you were hopelessly poor I just liked you more. So if you have 5 seconds to spare, then I'll you the story of my life: sixteen, clumsy and shy. (That's the story of my life)

Lynnette 2:01 PM

Monday, August 19

 

Candice's King of Jordan Dream

In my dream last night I was married to the King of Jordan. Only he wasnt like a typical king. He was 27 as well and looked like a typical indie boy only he was beautiful-I mean absolutely stunning with an imperfect beauty-tall, sandy brown hair, dark skinned , piercing blue eyes and a large nose like those of Lynda Barry's characters. In my dream only once did he wear his kingly wardrobe but when he did he became literally gilded with gold sunrays all around him and when he walked down the carpet to his throne his subjects had to turn their heads and cloak their eyes with the palms of their hands he shone so bright. But usually he just dressed like a normal guy. He did this cuz he wanted to blend in with his people. He was apparently the greatest King that ever lived, he gave his country universal health care and education and was immensely immensely kind and mercifull and brilliantly smart as he had invented some kind of fancy weather machine(dont ask) and his people loved him with a devotion that was almost cultish. He also didnt live like a King, he wanted to live in the same economic bracket as most of his subjects so we lived above this steak house in a little apartment with our 2 year old son. I must have been hungry in my dream because he brought me up some fries for dinner and they were freaking orgasmic.. all salty and vinegary.. man they were good! His sister was Natalie Portman and she was there for the fries only she would only eat one or two and I remember looking at her and I could see her collar bone jutting out of her skin and it made me lose my appetite. I also worked.. at Alltel still.. why I dont know.. and I brought our kid with us to work and one day Ron the old security guard dude wouldnt let me in because I didnt have a badge for the kid. The kid also never wore anything but white diapers . No other clothes. I had to carry him everywhere and it started to piss me off because he was heavy and talked a lot. He had the vocabulary of an 18 year old see. The Great Wall of China was in our back yard. I looked at it a lot while holding the kid and there was always this gypsy lady walking back and forth on one little section by our window. I was constantly worried about my husband-king being assasinated because he was so good and so kind and so loved and because he would go out in public without body guards to hand out food and books and stuff. He was very well read. Every book on our book case had either been read or was being read. Which is how it should be see. One day I took a walk along the great wall of China and I bumped into the gypsy lady. She grabbed my arm and said if a King dies in his own country then he becomes an eternal spirit - and then the sky began twisting into a this spiral and clouds were being sucked into the middle and she started spouting some gypsy wisdom I dont remember I just felt like I was going to fall into the sky and be sucked into the vortex. When she let go of me I was standing on the icky red carpeting at the San Francisco International Airport.. and my husband was being assasinated.. a guy was shoving this impossibly long white straw tube thing down his throat. And when I ran to him and looked at him it wasnt him, it was some Chinese guy , so I knew it was a decoy (hello star wars ) and I felt relieved . I purchased a ticket back to Jordan. And then I woke up.

Lynnette 7:37 PM

Sunday, August 18

 

Last night I went to Adore Mi's birthday party at the Q. Surprisingly it was my first drag show, which I found odd. (Not the show, the fact that I had never been.) Anyway, it was fagulicious. Ron, Mr. Q 1999 sang Spandau Ballet's "True", and Poison's "Every Rose Has its Thorn". Naturally for the last number we had our lighters out. I think Candice's blister has begun the healing process. Dan lip-synched a hilarious "Islands in the Stream" as Kenny Rogers with Adore Mi (Jeff) as Dolly Parton. Then did his own Billy Idol number. It was fucking rad.

I haven't had that much fun in a loooooong time. (Ron-I'll post Candice's dream tomorrow!! I can't find it !)

Lynnette 7:55 PM

 

DREAM: Knowing you're dreaming...... cool!

So I haven't been posting, because I have been doing things. I can't understand why some bloggers post every fucking detail of their lives: I had oatmeal for breakfast, I am missing a blue sock from my favorite pair, today I was late for work and had to stay an extra half hour. It's dull; but I suppose dull is subjective. That being said here's my dream:

I dreamt I was at work, not my current job, but a job. I had the desk near the front door so I was the first person to greet visitors and employees arriving for work. Everyone who came in was either someone I knew or worked with, and for some reason, none of them knew me. This girl Sallie I work with came in and was being very cordial with me. I said, do you know who I am? She replied that she didn't think she had ever met me. I thought to myself, cool, no one knows who I am, I can be completely different than I normally am and they won't know the difference. More people arrived for work, and I pretended to "meet" them and get to know them. I did find it hard to play dumb; I already was familiar with their personalities and likes, but of course they didn't know that. Then this guy Dan I worked with at the bookstore came in. I asked him what he was doing there, we chatted. I realized I was dreaming; figured I would have fun with myself while I had this complete mental freedom. I suggested we all go out dancing, Sallie, her boyfriend, my friend Dan, myself, and another couple.

The dream itself wasn't that interesting, but realizing while I was dreaming as it was happening was marvelous. After the bulk of the dream sequence was over, still knowing I was dreaming, everything went back to "normal". The people I knew before knew me, etc. Everything was the same as it was before, except the molecules for everything had been altered. They were no longer charged the same. The protons had actually transformed into neutrons, and conversely the neutrons had changed to protons. I wonder if there is a scientic phenomenon for this occurence. Hmm?? Shit, email me if there is.

Lynnette 7:47 PM

Friday, August 16

 

Please check out Steve's ebay crap. He doesn't have much time for garage sales with his manager job now (sorry baby!), but I'm trying to pick up the slack over the weekends. LOOK!! Get a Life on DVD!!

Lynnette 8:35 AM

 

DREAM: Giles, Monkeys and Apes, White Trash SIMS

I dreamt I was driving around a rich neighborhood with Giles, Buffy's "watcher"; which is fairly odd since I haven't watched the show in quite awhile. The neighborhood was full of million dollar, old-money mansions, with landscaped yards full of tall, bush, towering trees that have been around at least half a century. For some reason we were making estimates on the neighborhoods. Then we passed one street that from the main street we were on it made a 45 degree angle upwards. I remember saying aloud to Giles, "Look at that hill! How could you live on such a hill? Who could live on such a hill?" His reply was simple, "A lawyer moved into the neighborhood, then they called a doctor, and he called another lawyer. That's how the neighborhood, with all its old houses became so nuveaux-riche." I completely understood him.

Then I dreamt I was at a stop light, that would heading toward the on-ramp to a large highway in a mid-sized city, about the size of Austin, Texas. The highway veered off to the right, and along the left side was the heart of downtown with his skyscrapers and noticeable architecture. A limo that looked just like a PT Cruiser, just extended in length, zipped by me when the stop light turned green. I screamed profanities in disbelief, and went along onto the highway. Around the first corner I saw a very chubby girl trying to hitch a ride. Her magenta tank top had already shrunk it's last shrink, and the hot pink short-shorts she had on were going up her ass, an ass that she bent over and waved in the air in a feeble attempt to catch a driver's eye or four. Out of pity we decided to stop (there were 2 other people in the car) and helped her home. I could almost see 'white trash' across her forehead. The three of her went inside her apartment that was extremely low budget, filthy, and full of cats. We stood in her kitchen/dining room and attempt to converse. The only light was coming in from the adjoining TV/wreckroom, from the blaring TV and trashy floor lamp next to it. I decided I wasn't having it with this group and went into the other room to watch whatever was on her television. I don't even remember the picture changing; it was a still picture with sound. The couch was plaid, smelled of smoke, and sank in the middle as all good thrift store couch are supposed to. The carpet was a shitty orange/rust color and you could see pee stains here and there, hopefully from her cats...? I remember being overly aware of how the furniture was placed. The couch was 2 squared from the TV and the lamp was one sqaure to the right of the TV. The dining room table was placed directly on the wall, one square from the doorway, to allow for a chair. She was some freaky white trash SIM. Yes, now I am visiting their homes. I then decided to remove myself further and went into her backyard only to find a puppy curled up in the crook of a tree, trying to sleep. As I pet him I could feel no fur, only rough skin as he hadn't been cared for well, if at all. He was also covered in old cigarette butts. I began crying and brushed him clean. Through the process he slept, so I walked away and let him sleep.

I was on a large wooden porch, off the second story of a house. There were cool bugs and butterflies and caterpillars hanging from a single thread of spider web. I reached out and one by one let them free, throwing them off the porch and watching them float to the ground in slow motion. Some of the bugs had been hanging only for a short time, so they were still alive. Others were dead and hit the ground with a light landing. It was such a nice, breezy day that I leaned over the balcony to take in the scenery. It was then that I saw two light brown, short-haired apes holding onto each other, also hanging from the porch. Although these two were hanging from a rope that had been accidentally tied around their necks. I leaned over further, well aware that I could have fallen over, and did everything I could to untie the two primates. It was life and death, as I could see they were losing their breath, suffocating like a hanged man does near the end. All of a sudden they slipped out of my grip, and came loose. I was sure they were going to fall straight to the ground and get hurt, or possibly die. They fell extremely slow and stared at me, like the monkey in Project X that stared at Matthew Broderick when he was being radiated. They fell in an outwardly concentric spiral, so I had to keep running around the porch to watch their descent. The house was gone at this point; it was only the porch. They finally touched down on the grass and I could see they were safe. I heard cheering and realized there was a celebration party going on in honor of, not only the apes that had fallen from the sky, but for all monkeys, apes and prosimians (ya know, like ring-tailed lemurs!) Candice was there and they were passing out flyers about monkey and eating a caked shaped like a monkey and making monkey sounds and hoots and hollers. I remember reading to Candice the flyer I grabbed: all about the Loooooowooooo monkey, named after it's call (duh). Then we sat around making more monkey sounds.

Lynnette 8:32 AM

Monday, August 12

 

DREAM: London, NME, Aphex Twin 7"

So I have been playing too much Sims Livin' Large and not dreaming enough. Sue me. Here goes: I dreamt my friend Brigette and I were planning a trip to London, England. In three months time we were taking off to visit, and then to move there. While we were still in Lincoln some flaky friends we had kept trying to get information about where we would be moving to, and how to contact us. I prefer clean breaks. I didn't want to keep up a friendship with this annoying girl Amanda, who was dirty, and not well educated. I told her I would let her know what our contact information was after we settled in London.

When we got there the first thing we did was go to a library. We were talking rather loudly and some bloke asked us to hush. There were so many thick London accents that I found myself picking it up. Even talking with other Americans I realized I had a slight accent, after having been there only a few days. There was a radio playing music, despite it being a library. I found the adult contemporary/elevator/chamber music rather dull and voiced my opinion. I wondered out loud what radio station was playing, and that I would rather be listening to NME's online radio station. The same bloke that asked us to be quiet, told us it was KRQS 1011.90, not NME. I was well aware of that.

Then Bill Patterson and I went to our hotel room; until we found a place we had to stay somewhere. As we arrived we realized that we had to put up our own door. Not a difficult task, but it would have to be done. Together we erected a two-part door that had American memorabilia slapped onto it every which way (but loose). SST stickers, and American flags, and movie posters galore. Some of the other tenants in the building walked by and said hello, obviously aware that we were Americans. Once inside we laid on the bed, relaxed, and watched TV, like good little Sims. I started flipping through the phone book looking for record stores; we were in London after all, and there just had to be some decent shops around. This would be the perfect city for Stereolab items!! Then I started flipping through a music magazine, killing some time before we went shopping. In the middle was an Aphex Twin 7" that I had never seen; Richard D. James was on the cover playing a guitar while wearing half of a gorilla mask. I wondered what it was worth, and then remembered that I had my iMac with me! I checked on eBay and discovered that I had a veritable goldmine on my hands.

Lynnette 11:17 AM

Friday, August 9

 

DREAM: SIMS, yes, SIMS

Yesterday I borrowed a copy of the original Sims game from my buddy Brian at work. I started playing, and 4 hours later I realized that it was midnight, and Bill Patterson was crashed out on the couch. Naturally, my dreams were fucking weird.

I dreamt I was in my real world, the world as I know it in my waking state, but I was a Sims character. Prior to any action a pop-up window showed itself to me and I then chose what I did; water the plants, brush my teeth, get dressed, dance, sleep. This went on for the equivalent of a day or two in my dreams. I was my own Sims character.

I also dreamt it was Chinese New Year's and BP was working a closing shift. I was at a party, but decided that I would rather be outside walking, and watching the shooting stars.

Then I dreamt something about a Darth Vader costume being hung up on a wall with a dead chick's body hanging from it.

Then I dreamt I was in a small ma-and-pa mexican grocery store and they offered me a part time job because I speak Spanish. Then we spoke Spanish for awhile, and I declined taking the job.

Then I dreamt BP and I went to sleep in a nice, cool bed.

Lynnette 10:40 AM

Thursday, August 8

 

Just found out that Spoon will be at the Sokol Underground on Thursday 09/12/02. Fabulous!

Lynnette 8:34 AM

 

DREAM: Video Games, Bitchy Fags, Men

After working a job in which I stare at a computer screen for 8 hours (if I'm working... or fucking off) I came home to my home computer, where I spent hours downloading CDs I have always wanted, but was too stingy to buy. Needless to say I think it warped my dreams.

I was in some type of video game that resembled Grand Theft Auto 3 (which I highly recommend if you have the means, it is so choice.) In it you drove around in a car and crashed into other people in similar cars and then flew out of the autos and shot each other in the air, Matrix-style.

Last night I dreamt I was staying somewhere with my mom, a vacation of sorts. We were in a room that had aquariums all over the walls, in which there were people's heads singing and bobbing back and forth in the water. They looked happy, so it didn't seem scary. There was a tank with a colorful fish in a quarantine tank inside the first tank; the fish kept swishing the water around, to the point where it would spill out and into the larger tank it was stationed in. There were cats swimming, and people wearing garb from the early 1900s. If people weren't wearing full ensemble's they were at least wearing the button-on boots, even me. We went back to our hotel room, and as we were shutting the door I saw that this boy I went to high school with had been following us. He was a bitchy fag then, and in my dream it was no different. I tried to hide, away from our picture window, but he saw my mom, and started yelling, "Kitty, Kitty!" I opened the door and then had their reunion. It was then that he started messing up my stuff. First it was a painting I had been working on; he knocked it to the ground. Then my music; he walked by a stack of CDs and claimed they fell on their own. Then the last straw; he made a call with my antique phone (which I actually did spend a pretty penny on.) I told him to be careful because the cord was short, but instead of listening to me he tried pulling it further, and yanking it from the wall. I freaked out and grabbed the phone away from him, and asked him to leave.

I was then sitting around in an old den, that seemed as if it had not been redecorated since 1974. It was very dim, and smoky, but only from the former tenants. I was in a group of women, one of which was my supervisor that just quit (hooray....?) She said, any man can be great if you add three things. The women thought about it, and then threw out ideas: like a car, a toupee, a nice bicycle? Then I came out with my zinger: Do medals count, or if he's "knighted"?

Lynnette 8:17 AM

Wednesday, August 7

 

DREAM: Cornball, cheese, whatever you wanna call it

Simply put, I dreamt Bill Patterson and I went to a hockey game. After the hockey game, we went to a party where a bunch of people were playing RISK. Unfortunately, we didn't belong. I knew a lot of these people but didn't feel wanted within the group. We left, and were all the better off for it. Okay, now the cheesy part: I heard the Queen song "Best Friend" playing in the background while me and BP ran around a garden holding hands and smiling at each other. It was hilariously corny, just like the field scene from Attack of the Clones.

Lynnette 8:02 AM

Tuesday, August 6

 

Okay, who remember's Thundarr the Barbarian??

Lynnette 1:59 PM

 

Yesterday, called in "sick" to my job and spend the day with my sweetheart. We went to the zoo, had some delicious Mo Java iced mochas, bought the first season of M*A*S*H on DVD, and got a new rewritable drive for the computer. "Free" music, here we come. Later while he napped I realized I was bored, so Candice and I talked each other into working out again. My third day in a row! The first day sucked, naturally, but it's getting easier. Look out world, I'm gettin' buffed!

Lynnette 9:31 AM

 

DREAM: Hotels, Malls, Air hockey

I dreamt I was at a hotel for convention or a wedding of sorts. I was supposed to stay in a room with this guy I used to date and some of his friends. A bellhop came by the room and told me I wouldn't be staying it that room; I was thankful. I asked if there were any other rooms available, and he said the only was left was the lover's suite. I was stoked; that meant a suite all to myself for the whole trip. I started packing my laundry, and shopping bags I had everything packed in, and took off to my new digs.

Later on I found myself outside of the mall playing air hockey with my boyfriend, Bill Patterson. Naturally, I was kicking his ass, until we got in a debate on what constitutes a point. Did the puck have to make it all the way into the slot, or did it have to more than halfway cross the curve downward into the goal? I voted the latter, BP of course went for the former. We started asking people who were walking by, past the mall, like a caravan of gypsies. They all agreed it was more than halfway across the line.

Lynnette 8:59 AM

Sunday, August 4

 

DREAM: The dream to make up for lost dreams

The first part of this dream it was winter, deep winter, late evening. My stepdad was driving me around town in a red truck. The streets were slushy, and if the wind hit your face it made you want to cry. (Foreshadowing my move to Minneapolis?) For some reason he could only drive the truck so far, and then parked it in a handicapped spot a few blocks down from where I needed to be, on campus. Instead he gave me directions, go this way and that way, turn here and there's the hall you're looking for. I navigated the truck through the slushy streets and made my way onto campus.

On campus it was warm and sunny, and I found myself being greeted by a guy and a girl, about my age. I was going to volunteer with them at the kiddie pool. It was a round, sunken pool with steps leading down into it. For our "lifeguard" duties, we had to swim around the pool, with a dental-floss-thin, blue elastic string attached to our wrist. The pool itself was only 2 or 3 feet deep, and for the most part there were no kids swimming. I spent my time floating in circles on my back. Once or twice I went underwater and opened my eyes and waved at the kids with goggles on.

When my breaktime came up, I left the pool area and sat just past the stairs. A hamburger/hotdog stand opened up right in front of where I was sitting. The stand was help yourself, as the first couple of patrons understood. Then out of the goodness of my heart I helped one person who wasn't able to reach some of the condiments, and from there everyone thought I was serving. I really didn't mind, most of the people were really nice anyway. I would ask them, hamburger or hotdog, and then give them their plate; it was their job then to choose their condiments. One guy came up, and old guy, with glasses and a white moustach, and a crop circle of white hair on his fat head. He said hamburger, and I passed it to him. Then he said I want onion, refried beans, and salsa on my burger. I said I'm sorry it's self serve. He said, do it wanker. So I put his plate down and started helping everyone else. After all, the customer is not always right.

I was staying in a motel room with a handful of friends of which the contents were two double beds, a chest of drawers, and a mirror hanging above the dresser. We were having fun, playing games on the floor, and then the manager came by to look at our door. Someone before us had punched a huge whole in the door, to the point where it was hanging off the hinges and didn't close properly. While they fixed it we agreed to hang out outside. I remember sitting off in the shade a bit, naked. The other people I was with, who were all a lot younger than me, were running around and playing. The sun was shining hot and I could feel it on my legs. I wanted to run out into the sun and warm my skin for awhile. I did and found myself standing in the motel room. The door was fixed. Just as I realized I was still naked I hear voices in the hallway getting closer to my door. It was the people I was staying with. I grabbed a tank top and a towel, they were closest, and skipped off to the bathroom, although, not before they saw my ass. Big deal.

Bill Patterson and I were driving two autos on the highway; I was driving our car, and he was driving a semi (rar rar, yes i know). I don't remember our destination, or where we were driving from, but I remember being on the road for what seemed like days. I was constantly trying to find CDs to play, and even though were were in separate autos we could still talk to each other while we were driving. We stopped off to eat at a restaurant we had heard about called, Murray Street. I was hoping the food was good, and not just a novelty eatery managed by Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth. We looked through the menus, and nothing really looked spectacular. The food wasn't great, especially for the price, and my disappointment in her abilities to function as an artist, let alone a restaurateur, grew.

Lynnette 9:47 AM

Friday, August 2

 

Last night my boyfriend pointed out the fact that I am obsessed with time. If we're watching a movie, and I know the length, I might say out loud to him, "There's only 15 minutes left, watch." This came about when last night we were downloading and watching videos from weezer.com, in particular the video for Keep Fishin' in which the band is paired with the Muppets, yes thee Muppets. Well after watching the video I clicked on the "making of", until I noticed it was nearly twenty minutes long. "It's nearly twenty minutes long," I said. The absurdity of this statement didn't register until I looked at the clock, which read 9:45 p.m.. Why the fuck did I care where twenty minutes of my night went, when we were sitting home together anyway? I am a time freak.

Also, yesterday I saw a red, shiny, convertible Porsche of which the license plate read: RUFLIFE. No comment from the peanut gallery.

Lynnette 9:40 AM

 

Yesterday was the first of August. August is the only month that contains no holidays. I also had no dreams that stayed with me until I awoke.

Lynnette 9:34 AM

 

Yesterday was the first of August. August is the only month that contains no holidays. I also had no dreams that stayed with me until I awoke.

Lynnette 9:34 AM

Thursday, August 1

 

Yesterday was Harry Potter's birthday. All hoorah for the boy who lived.

Lynnette 8:30 AM