PLEASE EMAIL ME
Thursday, May 9
My cat, Citizen Kane, at 15 and a half years old is just entering early stages of renal diseaseI don't have the energy to edit right now.. but here's the email (unedited....) to my friend Nicole, a vet, and one of my besties:
SO omg.. Okay so here's what Dr. Haney (funny huh?) said about Kane's labwork. The last time he had labwork was February 2012; at CHCC. BUN/Cre, T4, normal.. we just had some anemia.. HCT was 24%.
Well. NOW.. BUN is 49 (eeek!), Cre is STILL normal, thankfully, and T4 is still normal. but his HCT is back to 30%! woot! And for the first time his potassium was low, and he has a murmur 1/6 (which I believe I mentioned to you in my last email or two). So Dr. Haney gave me options.. We're going to start on Tumil-K, for 7-10 days, prior to his sedation for a dental cleaning..... and then an i-stat the morning of the dental, to recheck the potassium, etc.
But it was really scary hearing that my baby, my little man has "early renal failure". It's.. the inevitable that I NEVER wanted to happen but.. UGH I'm tearing up now just writing about it. It's silly because it's totally manageable at this point and money isn't an issue with my job connections.. I mean I have insurance FOR this reason... but.. :( It's my baby. I HATE being on the other side of this... it's... scary. I am TOTALLY over reacting but..
Okay.. bucking up here!!!!
1) Tumil-K, for now.. possibly ongoing of the K lvls stay low or are maintained by continued dosing.
2) going to buy this amazing Drinkwell fountain.. probably a bit much but.. aesthetically it's the nicest, it's stainless steel, and hands down has amazing reviews. Here's the link.. I'm curious about your opinion... (okay update there are 2: one the cheaper version.. but.. good reviews and looks compact/nice: http://www.amazon.com/Hagen-Design-Drinking-Fountain-Original/dp/B004L4XR3I/ref=sr_1_4?s=pet-supplies&ie=UTF8&qid=1368139746&sr=1-4&keywords=pet+fountain
OR the original pricey one that I really kind of like.. a LOT.. but the price? hm. is it worth it? >> http://www.amazon.com/Drinkwell-360-Fountain-Stainless-Steel/dp/B002SB91QS/ref=sr_1_5?s=pet-supplies&ie=UTF8&qid=1368139746&sr=1-5&keywords=pet+fountain
3) Also considering transitioning him to either K/D or Renal LP. Neither are covered under insurance, BUT... the perspective our staff vet gave to me today (which I sincerely appreciated), was "you haven't had to pay for that food for 15 years so... ". Good point. As I said above, he's my little man... It's within a budget I can handle... so.. let's do this. Kane and wet food though.. ehn, not the best of bed-fellows.. Transition may be slow, but definitely available.
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why I am thinking about the "end" already, this is horrible of me.. it's so depressing. I have the intelligence and the information to understand a disease process of this type, and I am not wholly surprised by it.. just.. I didn't want to EVER have to deal with it. :( I've never had a cat that went through this.. like your Hobbes did. This.. omg this is totally retarded. Kane is in the other room kicking Bubbles' ass around the living room and I'm worrying about how I'm going to deal with his last days. OMG STOP IT!!!
Thank you for reading this, thank you for being there.. and I may have some questions for you, as not only a vet but of course as my friend... I just need to know exactly what to expect. :|
Lynnette 6:53 PM
Saturday, April 13
DREAM: Forced to go to Jupiter?I dreamt I was chosen to be sent into space on a mission to Jupiter. For some reason I was chosen to go alone, and was not able to take my boyfriend, Brandon. Of course I was beside myself with sadness at the prospect of possibly coming back to Earth after my mission, and Earth time having progressed for thousands of years, and all of my loved ones long having passed. Prior to my send-off ceremony, I was sent to a test. It was millions of years prior, and my test began with me suspended in midair, far above ancient treetops (like dinosaur-sized trees) almost to the stratosphere. A skydiver, in full gear was there with me… and I was clinging on for dear life. Then all of a sudden I realized, wait.. Okay I’m dreaming I’ll just call someone to get out of this test. Just then, the skydiver disappeared, and I was left free-falling to the ground. Once I landed, without injury, I looked around and saw nothing but old swamp, moss, fog…. I knew there was something out there, so I reached for the phone. Unfortunately the phone was still up sitting on a damned cloud, and totally out of reach.
So the ceremony began, and I was sitting in a booth, crying, knowing I was going to have to leave everyone behind; I wasn’t given a choice. Fred Savage, the “adult” (because how much of an adult does he really appear?!) version led twins in, a prince and a princess, around 4-5 years old. For some reason, whatever land/planet I was on, these two children were the royal leaders. Fred Savage led them up to the front where their thrones were and began the ceremony/roast/award ceremony for me. Jennifer Aniston was in the booth next to me, and asked why I was crying. I explained that I wasn’t ever going to be able to see my loved ones again when I left.
Then the alarm went off.
Lynnette 5:30 PM
Saturday, March 2
My latest obsession: Matthew Gray GublerOh yeah, and I have a new internet stalker. Hello there.
So to the point... I need this please:
Thank you, please deliver soon, kthxbai
Lynnette 10:14 PM
Monday, August 6
HOLY FUCK, FUCK PSORIASIS; or, Psoriasis: A Love/Hate Affair in Three PartsI hate...this part of me. This part of me that is NOT a part of me. It peels, it falls, it comes, it goes. It's the flag that says, "I have skin issues, please stare at me!!!!!".
"How many outbreaks have you had?".
"Three, otherwise it sort of comes and goes, here and there, I can usually manage it unless crazy shit in my life happens." (alas, paraphrased...)
My first outbreak, and probably my most severe was at 14-15 years of age. I had just had the chicken pox... and given to my brother via licked Lego pieces (literally, my mom told me to lick the Legos pieces and GIVE them to my unsuspecting and not-yet-infected brother..... it worked). I had psoriasis from head to toe, literally. I began my first treatment of topical/moisture/bullshit-omg-let's-try-anything-this-girl-is-fucked-up. For two weeks during my summer between 7th and 8th grades (thank FUCKING god is was the summertime), I had to cover 90% of my body with a topical cream, squiggle into full cotton pajamas (i.e. long sleeve, full legs), and then be completely soaked in water via my parents misting me with water bottles. Oh that's not all... then I would don a "sauna suit". I 'slept' for two weeks soaked in cream, wet pajamas, and trapped in a shitty-ass sauna suit.... I would mostly lay in bed and hate my genetics, wish I had friends, and also be thankful it was the summertime. I mean my social life was non-existent at the time anyway, but THIS debacle would have ruined my "junior high life". And so, as Vonnegut used to say, it went away, and I forgot about it... Until:
The second outbreak was after a self-induced stress event from a ill-perceived break-up from a loser who was not worth his weight in farts. However, at the time, OMG it was the worse thing EVAR!.... thus... my back exploded... I couldn't even REACH the areas in which I was instructed to apply topicals. TOPICALS?!?! SRSLY? I said give me more, now! And it was given... and I had reactions. It's a very weird sensation when your right thigh not only feels HOT but LOOKS twice and large as it should.... yay reactions to Enbrel. Keep that shit to arthritis, thank you very much.
Third time's the charm, eh? I got fired, for the second time, in the "career" in which I had invested a shitload of cash (i.e. HIGH INTEREST loans). Did I choose poorly, was this beneath me, was I truly awful, was this not for me? 6 weeks of self-reflection, Dragon Age Origins (and x-pacs, w00t!) and knitting helped me realize... it wasn't me... it really, truly wasn't. NOW, I have an amazing job, at an amazing company which will benefit from my field knowledge and previous background. I am on a fast track upwards. Yet... the skin.... it's a badge of the past that won't go away, even when the past is said and done. The source of the stress is gone, the hate is gone, and yet... it gets worse.
So here I am, again, psoriasis-stricken, cursed perhaps (?), and looking to end it... for now... I've never been able to end it "forever".
I have health insurance now, and I used it, and thankfully my GP was able to get me an appointment TOMORROW to a derm specialist. Great, but now I miss out on the yearly company shin-dig and free Phillies game, food, beer.. Alas, I have to prioritize... my skin needs to be happy again, because I am, and I just need it to show.
Lynnette 8:30 PM
Monday, May 7
Further proof the Flyers are royally fucked this year...
Lynnette 9:11 PM
Friday, May 4
MCA, Adam Yauch died this morning. He was 47. Today I saw the Philadelphia Museum of Art's exhibit of Vincent van Gogh for the SECOND time. My second favorite artist of all time died, possibly of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the stomach (not elsewhere....), died at 37. The only show in the United States; and then nothing... folks.. NOTHING! Shoot for the stars, reach for those fuckers, grab 'em while you can cuz... you could be dead soon. Jesus fuck omg.
Thirty seven is the new twenty seven?? I don't know. People are talking to me on facebook and it'sweird....they like ..................."Like" you and stuff.
FWIW, I got a call back for a working interview less than 24 hrs from my initial interview. so.. yay fuckin me. jesus i hate blogging.. such a waste. pooooooooooooooop!
Lynnette 11:32 PM
Sunday, April 29
I lost my job on April 23 of this year. I am relieved and happy.
Lynnette 9:51 PM
Tuesday, April 3
Areolas should be hitting the carpet ! ! !Fit Club 2112. Fitness/health program begun by my boyfriend, Brandon, and I. Target start date was February 1st, 2012, actual start date was January 30th. Thankfully not inspired by years of my nagging, Brandon decided on his on volition to begin working out and eating whole foods. We were both overweight, out of shape, and drank too much. e.g. Americans.
His revelation came about after looking up bodybuilding websites and found most of the basic nutritional info from a site from a buff simple-minded man nick-named "Scooby". Immediately after realizing what he had been eating for years was bad for him (fish sticks, fast food, soda, etc) he demanded that we either donate or trash all the bad food in the house. All red meat, white pasta, sodium-laden soups, fatty cheeses, and salt-ridden spice "packets" were taken to my work and doled out among eager coworkers. Whole wheat EVERYTHING began, salads galore, Mio (as awful as their commercials are) began a staple for mixing up the water intake.
The MOST amazing transition, however, was that he went from 4-5 Cokes EACH DAY to zero with no withdrawls, no cravings...nothing. Cold turkey quit soda drinking. Still amazes me.
So we started at 178 and 168, he and I respectively. We are now at 154 and 156. Working out ceased at the end of February, we have slacked to say the least. However, just changing the way we eat, cutting out fat/salt/sugar, it has done wonders. My personal goal is 140, 135 if I can swing it. Brandon needs to stop at 150 and gain muscle mass or I'll be dating a hot anorexic soon. It's truly disgusting how quickly men lose weight. I like to blame my period for the extra pounds, but really I'm just a lazy bastard.
HOWEVER, I can now do real "man" push-ups. I can do real ones with my toes on the ground, full body straight like a plank, hands pressed into the floor. So at work, if I'm bored or just feeling slow I'll say to Charissa, my coworker, "hey let's do some pushups...." I can usually do 9 or 10 she can force out a handful, but does her best. And thusly, the title of this entry came about this evening, when, after several beers (which causes confidence in its most unpure form) I decided it was time to do 5 pushups. Apparently Brandon does not feel my form is correct, and that I am not lowering my head at the start of the pushup... leading him to yell: Areolas should be hitting the carpet!
I hate blogging. I talked to my friend Paul today who pointed out that I cease blogging for extended periods of time. I do, apparently. Last post was 11 months ago.
Well there ya go world, I'm still alive, I'm losing weight, and I'm still fucking awesome.
Lynnette 6:58 PM
Friday, May 6
Came home to Omaha to visit family, friends. My mom told me my dad (Harlan) has esophageal cancer. Poor prognosis; causes are typically heavy alcohol use and smoking tobacco. BIG fucking surprise. Great.
Lynnette 4:37 PM
Friday, April 8
Haven't posted in ages, but here's an email I just sent to the folks at A Novel Idea Bookstore in Lincoln, Nebraska.
Cheesy? Fuck you, I meant every word.
To Cinnamon and all the Novel Idea staff:
I wasn't born in Lincoln but grew up there and spent a great, long time (over 1/3 of my life to this point) in that beautiful, green, slow, affordable, happy city. Your bookstore was discovered by me around the time I began my stint at UNL studying many, many things. My first venture into the store was in an attempt to cheat the system; i.e. to find my books for my "Fiction since 1950" class cheaply and to give my money to a used book store rather than the university which I foresaw taking much more of my money than was fair. Every time I arrived at your shop I found a new section, a new author, a new set of books, a new smell. I found yoga there (in the basement, east side), and the Dorothy Parker collection just to the right of the front door. I ventured over to the left, or north, side of the store (on the first floor) a few times but never found the mystery genre much to my liking. It needs to be said that the most peaceful, meaningful moments I recall in A Novel Idea were in the basement, far, far into the basement, past the yoga, beyond the WW2 section, past the gardening books, if memory serves, and into a crappy, old, wonderfully comfy chair. I ALWAYS knew, if I sat in that crappy, old, wonderfully comfy chair that within 2 minutes I would have a black and white lover sitting on my lap. Quiet and dandruffy and stubborn (if only for not letting me stand) it was Silas. Your store, your books, the solitude and Silas were always there for me like my own personal Mecca that somehow I was okay with sharing with the rest of the Lincolnites. I realize this is over 2 years late, but please accept my condolences at the passing of that wonderful cat.
I am now long removed from Lincoln, in body alone, but my heart and family still thrive there. It has just occurrred to me that on my upcoming visit next month to see relatives that I should stop in at the store, if just to sit for awhile in the basement.
Thank you again for doing what you do, and know that Silas will always be a part of my fondest Lincoln memories.
Sincerely, a Novel Idea patron now living in Philadelphia,
Lynnette Ann Bender
Lynnette 11:06 PM
Wednesday, July 14
Your life's work, or your life in general, can become confusing when you begin your day (7:58AM EST 7/14/2010) saving a spider's life, and end it (4:55PM EST 7/14/10) helping someone cut off a 9 month old cat's head.
Sometimes I really don't understand why I do the job that I do. Unfortuntely, "saving lives" isn't a daily part of my job.
On the other hand, earlier this week I did save a dog from death by removing a tick. Don't ask me why or how, just know that I 99.9% saved a dog's life by removing a tick from its' ear. Paralysis had set in, everything was normal, but POW tick on the ear... I have somehow received credit for its' amazing and 24 hour recovery. Paralyzed to running in the yard the next day? No need to thank Bender, she's just glad Dudley's okay.
Also, I don't understand why it's so cool to be cynical (actually I do but I'm simply complaining about the hideous, dark nature of human beings). Fucking assholes. The lot of them.
Lynnette 9:25 PM
Sunday, July 11
Amazingly, shockingly, even, this is my 1,188th blog post. Is that all? I suppose this number can be accounted for by taking into consideration the times in my life when I was too distracted, too drunk, too busy, too depressed, too happy to get on a computer and type out what I was feeling. Which leads me to make a quick comment about how absolutely fucking RETARDED Facebook truly is.
Why on earth do people feel the urge to let the world know that this situation occurred:
Imagine if you will a woman preparing for a camping trip. She most likely has children, let's say two, one of each gender/sex, approximately 2 to 3 years apart in age. The house is hectic, the pets are most likely boarded somewhere and already out of the way, handled. A pair of much loved shoes comes up missing, a pair that are desperately needed for this camping trip. But wait, what now? The woman is sitting down at her computer, she's turning it... on? She's waiting for Windows to load (love hearing those chimes, btw) and she's... logging into Facebook to write: "My hiking boots are missing?? now??!".
After this her friends revel in their new found information, and know they can sleep well that evening having been told at THAT particular moment in time just what she was thinking. Or, more succinctly, what she had typed and retyped and probably edited for the benefit of sounding amusing, entertaining, and/or otherwise deceitfully spontaneous.
Lynnette 9:59 AM
Tuesday, April 20
In approximately 16 minutes I will turn 35 years old. Actually, I will be 8 hours and 48 minutes away, Pacific Standard Time. Sooooooo, since I live in Eastern time zone now that means that in approximately .... now 15 minutes........hmm.....5 hours and 14 minutes I will officially have been alive and out of my mother for 35 years.
Very bizarre notion. AND my friends.... I WILL write soon!!!
Lynnette 10:43 PM
Friday, February 19
This year I would like to:-Seriously involve myself in running (again), with the hopes of running a marathon in 2011.
-Purchase a new camera. Perhaps take a photography class at a faggy community college.
-Convince my friend Amy, my bestest bestie bestestestesterester BFFF, my crackbaby to move within a stone's throw of me and Brandon. I LOVE seeing Amy and Brandon joke around; they're both so introverted it's uplifting to see them interact. Plus, I love seeing both of them have a close friend in common with me. (mmmm selfishness!)
-I am going to lose around 15-20 lbs., perhaps. I'm more concerned with getting down to a size 8/10 again rather than the 12/14 to which I have become.
-Write my friend Paul more consistently. He's my longest-running penpal, and oddly one of my dearest friends, even though we have been in one another's company but ONCE in 1996. Weird, right? I think it's fuckin' neato keen.
-Consider adding volunteer work to my regimen.
Lynnette 9:29 PM